Everything is Always OK

Everyone keeps asking me if I am doing ok. I guess I am. Really and truly I'm just so busy with catching up on tests that I don't have time to think about if I am ok or not. I go to school, take tests, come home, and study. It doesn't feel real. I mean, this is what I would normally do...if he was still with us. I would be a maniac chiropractic student. Don't get me wrong, I don't forget....well I guess I do. I want to call him sometimes because I get so excited about what I learn in school. It isn't the same telling my mom something. I have to explain EVERY little detail so she understands. And even then, sometimes she doesn't. He used to just get me.

I miss him.

Enough with the melodramatics. I went out this weekend!!! I had a crap load of studying to do to prepare for my six tests this week and I did NOT give a damn. I deserved to go out. I have been spending every weekend in Leesville giving my heart to my family and damn it, I was exhausted. I needed some fun. Especially after the family drama. It was my little Italian beauty's birthday and she wanted to celebrate in Addison at the Londoner. 

Anyone who knows Dallas, knows that Addison is home of the yuppies. But, I didn't need to stay in the house and dwell on the situation. I needed to get my ass dressed, put on some make-up and drink a lot of beers. And yes ma'am/ sir, that is what I did. I drank, caught up on the Parker gossip, got hit on by straight male hair dressers, got to say, "it's ok, I'm a doctor.", and took a lot of photos thanks to my favorite modern hippie.

Happy Birthday Danielle!! 

It was great!! Oh, and the fact that I got to say, "it's ok, I'm a doctor" made it that much better. Some chick wearing FLAT boots was with her boyfriend drinking. She obviously had 1 too many drinks because I saw her fall on her ass. She got up and was more embarrassed than anything, but she must have fell again because the next time we saw her she was on the floor... again. This time she wasn't moving and her body was super tensed up in a weird position. Normally, you wouldn't think a room full of Chiropractic students would be useful, but we actually learn the same thing that the Medical students learn. 

The boyfriend is frantically trying to lay her on her back and shove his fingers down her throat while we are all yelling, "Put her on her side!!" "We're doctors!" My feisty Italian even goes over to help but he just shoved her out of the way angrily as if he had the situation in control. Well, I see this and I am fed up, and go around the dude so he can't push me and roll ol' girl on her side. I say, "dude, were doctors." His response: "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!!!" Steve who has her head at this point, and I are smiling, because who doesn't understand the definition of doctor? That's when I got to say my infamous line and he chilled for a second.

Steve and I are looking at her head and notice a knot quickly growing in front of our eyes. OOOOhhhhh!!! The girl fell and hit her head on the table and is knocked out. She was going to be fine!! She came two and I asked her what her name was and she responded correctly. We sat her up and she says, "I think I broke my ankle...I'm not that drunk." Poor girl. She was drunk and in denial. I quickly tell explain what happened to her and then the police man showed up to escort her out to an ambulance. 

I can never just have a normal night, but telling a white lie about being a doctor was super fun. I mean, it is inevitable and our professors DO address us as Dr. So and So. I continued to drink some more and ended up thinking I could drive. Going out with drunk Diamond AKA Sparkle 101: Sparkle always thinks she can drive. Thank God I didn't because when I got in the car I kept seeing 3D beams from all the l surrounding lights in my lap. I also couldn't keep my balance after sitting for a while, and BOY did I have to pee!! 

It was a great weekend not to mention that I went to eat at Babe's and see Wanderlust with my favorite people in the world (Go watch the movie...there is a scene in there well worth the $8.00) the day before. Nothing can shake me, not some silly failed tests, or rumors that some skank is still reading my blogs (and they say I should get  a life?) Being told a million times how great you look ALWAYS brightens your weekend. 

So yes. I'm going to be out ok because at the end of every day...everything is always ok. 

Hot Southern Mess

Today was my first day back to school in a week. And I'm so excited to make up four exams. Not! It is a super gorgeous 78 degrees (Fahrenheit for everyone that doesn't speak American) day here in Dallas today and I would much rather be outside then sitting in class. In fact, I'd much rather blog that pay attention to my professor (exactly what I am doing at this moment). My posts are always so controversial and someone always gets mad, but it is what it is. I post on my side bar over on the right that reader discretion is advised. Not everyone will agree with what I say, and if you don't like what I say, regardless if you feel like it is the truth or not, don't read it! Speaking of truth, I am not going to sit here and publicly lie. When I call someone a slut or any other name, I have good reason in believing that they fit the definition. My opinions are always based on facts.

While I was away in little Leesville drowning my sorrows and my cold in fried foods, sugar, Nyquil, Mucinex, and alcohol, my friends were having life changing experiences. My awesome soccer hottie friend ended her four year relationship with her adorable boyfriend. She was pretty damn sad about it, and asked me the normal break up questions: How long will it take to be over it? Are you over it? Truthfully, I told her I didn't know how long it would take. It's different for everyone depending how involved you were in that relationship. As for me being over it?? I'm definitely over his good for nothing ass, but I am no where near moved on from the situation...otherwise I'd have me a little hottie of my own. 

Everyone has their way of dealing with a breakup. I blog my life away; I bitterly put that asshole and his whore's business out there. People deserve to know the truth about those two. Elle Woods turns to God and all the meanwhile soccer hottie turns to her good old friend the bar! Elle Woods and I are pretty damn good friends and I like the way she is dealing with her situation. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I used to have a wonderful relationship with Him...you know, God?

When Elle Woods and I lived in Shreveport we had bible studies and KLOVE. My radio station was barely on anything else. I have Gateway Church here, but sometimes just going to church isn't enough. So I have decided that I will take one of the million chances God has given me to put my life back together. She told me about this fancy lent she was doing at her church, The Village Church (no we aren't catholic). It consists of fasting from different things for 7 weeks and supplemental passages to keep you motivated and bring you closer to Him. I am a little behind on week one, (I didn't get the book until Wednesday) but fasting food for a week was out of the question anyway. My stress levels are too high during tests and I refuse to pass out, so I gave up Starbucks and coke for a week. Surviving without coke...now THAT is a challenge. 

I know, I had to inquire about that sleep thing too.

Soccer hottie has decided that she is going to deal by living the single life that she has missed out on for four years. She plans on going to bars and flirting her cute little ass off. I am very inspired by this also. I've been at home in Leesville every weekend since the break-up. I haven't met a single guy since that douche bag. I have a hankering for this experience too. Now, I know I am not gonna meet my husband at a bar, but getting a couple of guys numbers and going on a few dates has never hurt any one. 

It will be interesting...going out to bars, working on my relationship with God, and blogging my experience to "deal" with the demise of my awful relationship. Both girls have the complete opposite personalities of one another, but one of the three ways HAS to be the right way right? Molly has even suggested that I go on the show the Bachelor as a contestant. And you know what?? I think it'd be fun. After watching a lot of Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo, we also thought it would be awesome if I were to submit my name to be one of the girls that a millionaire has to choose from. All I need to get is a professional photo done to turn into them. 

determined to be on a "reality" TV show

It is really easy to become one of these girls AND they do it in Texas now!

My pinteresting and cooking are great therapies, but it is time for something new. Speaking of Pinterest...I found (found does not equal discovered) this great way to get old stains off of your carpet. I had some pretty gross ones from the night my dog decided to throw up all over the house. I used the steam cleaner and it just. wouldn't. come. up! So I tried this amonia + water + iron & towels thing. The stain disappeared like magic, but let me warn you....Your house will smell like Amonia and whatever that stain originally smell like. Learn from my mistakes. Save this for a warm day when all of your windows can be open. Oh and also, if you burn candles to get rid of the smell, remember that fire makes glass hot or else you will pick up the candle burn your hand and spill wax all over your newly cleaned carpets. Sigh.

Click here for the original website!

Being single is awesome! I'm going to learn a lot about myself and now that I have my weekends back it is going to be extremely fun. I'm exploring all my options right now, and I hope things will turn out well, but you know me..I'm a hot southern mess. 

Put Your Trust in God

Alright. No more Mrs. Nice Girl. I try so hard to be nice
So hard


But you know what I have learned? You can't be nice to people. They take advantage of it. The Golden Rule is bullshit. Why follow the Golden Rule when no one ever does unto you what you do unto them?

I don't have time for Karma anymore

I tried not to talk shit about these people in the last blog.
I thought I did a really good job of just telling the story for what it was.


Fuck that.


Fuck the family who came out of no where. Who decided to show their faces AFTER their father passed. Where were you when he was sick and you knew about it? Were you driving five hours home every fucking weekend? Did you sleep next to him holding his hand because you wanted to spend every second with him? Where were your tears when he was going through chemo and it made him too sick to hang out with you or talk on the phone with you?


Where?


Where Damn it??!!!!


Oh, that's right. You were sitting on you fucking ass counting down the days till his death so you can get what you are owed. Is that right? You good for nothing pieces of sorry ass shits!


Forgive me. I needed to get all that out. I'm still a little upset by what George's family and "friend" is doing to my mother and me.


So last night my friend Jason and I (sorry, I forgot what you wanted your blog name to be) went and met up with these stupid fucks at the nursing home. They wanted all my grandmothers things out of our storage so they could take it back to Colorado with them. Good riddance. I am so tired of my grandmother skewing stories around anyway. So he used his strong arms (<-- really he shows them to me from time to time) to get these damn boxes in the back of the truck and ride with me to transport them. We get there and lo and behold...George's "friend" is there.


Now, let me tell you about this ass. We haven't seen him in God knows how long and then right when George gets really sick he starts showing up to our house again like nothing has changed. We felt like, well maybe he feels bad for being such a horrible friend and now he is trying to make up for it. UGH...There goes my personality flaw: seeing good in people no matter how atrocious they are. That is how I ended up dating and living with a conniving cocksucker.


Anyways, this dude randomly gave an impromptu eulogy at the funeral. Like, we didn't have him scheduled. Like, this dude just walked to the front with his typed out speech and started talking. He spoke sweet things of Goerge, but then he kept addressing his love for my grandmother and his new found friends, the kids and their families. ???????? Uhhh Ok. Did you meet them before I met them 10 minutes before the funeral started or something?


Well that isn't what I am pissed about. I could care less that they take Grandma's triflin' ass back to Colorado. What I am pissed about is that they went to our house that we are renting out. The house was Grandma's. Her name is on the deed and so is George's. In the will however, George stated that my mother was to take all of his properties. So that makes the house half ours and half my grandmother's.

Now, the original plan was to sell this property take half the money and pay off the debt that George left behind and give the other half to Grandma. Oh how plans change when someone dies. Should have got that bitch to put it in writing that she agreed. Now that she has talked to her manipulating family, she wants to keep the house rented out...and take ALL of the money. Ummmmm No. It is half ours. But sadly that isn't the best part. Remember when I said that the whole family went to our renter and told them to stop paying my mom and to start paying them???


These hoes went and set up an account at a bank and told the renters to meet them there tomorrow at 10am so the rent can be transferred directly into their account and that they needed to sign a new lease with them. Furthermore, if my mother or I set foot on the property, to call the police. Smart business moves 101: Don't put your renter in the middle of a family matter. Our renters are smart and called us and we settled things for them. I told them to go ahead and sign the shit. I mean, if they don't show up, they are just going to go on the property and harass them some more. And you know who is helping set ALL this up for them?? The "friend."


We are just going to the let the lawyer deal with this and have a judge figure out what to do with the house. I almost feel bad for my grandmother. ALMOST. She fails to realize that they are only using her to get money. You really think they are concerned about grandma getting the money she deserves? Nope. They know good and well she can't have that much money in her account and be living at the nursing home. It's against the law. That is why they are going to move her in with them in Colorado. But I said almost. Grandma made my mom and me out to be the bad guys. She led them to believe we are just taking all the money from the rent because we are greedy. It isn't that, it is just illegal for her to have it. She also failed to mention that George paid off that house for her AND renovated it with his own money. <---she says, "I didn't ask you to do that."


If she wants to believe the same people that blatantly lied to my face and told me that they brought grandma to the funeral home because we didn't set it up for her to come up there. (grandma got there before me and my mom which would be at least an hour before they even arrived) Fine. Get screwed over. I officially wash my hands of this. They are nuts. Oh and by they and them and all those similar pronouns. I really mean one person. I call her the Matron of the family. When she speaks, no one else speaks. It is really eerie. She runs the show and I believe that this is all her own vindictive plan. I want to believe that my stepbrother has no part in this (he was the only one I met previous to the fiasco), but then again he led the family to believe that I didn't call him to tell him that their dad died.

What goes around comes around - Alicia said it. Not me.

I think the best advice that I have received so far is from a person that I no longer talk to. She coincidently betrayed me. She told me, "People suck, put your trust in God." And how I will do JUST that.

When Blood isn't Thicker than Money

Interesting title for a blog this week eh? Well, I promised my friend Jon that I would blog about the ridiculous conversation we had while he was NOT completing the "to-do"list his wife made him. You see my friend is the opposite of everything that I decided was my type in my Leftovers blog. Not that I have a type anyway. It's kind of funny because he is an amazing person, father, and husband. I should probably go for guys more like him for a change, but I'm stubborn. 


I'd like to say that I am a reality TV whore and that I am totally into celebrity gossip. But those things aren't true. I don't have cable remember? And as much as I would love a subscription to People Magazine or something just to follow the pathetic lives of celebrities, I'm on a budget. I clip coupons for crying out loud. So I rely on my Yahoo! home page and the radio during my six minute drive to and from school. What intrigues me the most are celebrities and their marriages. Forgive me because I am going to get a little political here. We won't let gay people get married because it ruins the sanctity of marriage but we let these stupid rich mother fuckers get married and divorced in 70 something days and turn a blind eye to this "sanctity"? Ok?

I used to have this skewed dream of finding my soulmate, get married, have a couple of munchkins, and live happily ever after. Yea right! Obviously what I need to do is find me a rich idiot, get married, have a couple of babies, get boobs, hire a couple of nannies, get divorced and live off my child and spousal support. There are plenty of examples of this in our society. Check out half the bitches on Real Housewives; or my favorite, Kobe and Vanessa! Years ago I thought Vanessa was a dumb bitch. But I see what she was doing. She was solidifying her money. And more power to her. She put up with his ugly ass unzipping his pants to every whore in America. Why not? It's not like you are taking care of his spawn. You just catch a few drinks with the other basketball wives, shop, and look damn good. 

Cute kids though!

My favorite is Camille

Jon seems to think that there is a problem with my dream. He still has some old-school morals aparently. Believes that there is actually some sanctity in marriage. I'm confident that there may be in his, but I'm gonna stop going on this stupid rabbit chase of what is right, and go after what is real. Money. I'd love to be someone's trophy wife. Where my only job to my husband is to maintain my beauty. Damn it , I wish I wasn't some hard working woman with goals and an inablility to just sit in the house all day. Le sigh. 


Speaking of money, you should see what that does to people when someone dies! As you all know, we had the funeral for my stepdad on Friday. I never met but one of his kids in the how ever many years my parents have been married. I just knew he had no relationship with them and never asked why. It wasn't any of my business. Well apparently to them it should have been. All four kids obviously hate me because I never asked about them. Was this really my job as the child? They didn't tell us they were coming to the funeral and were more pissed that we didn't call them and ask them to be part of the funeral and have some say in the services. (FYI: I called the one I met when George died. He has my number. If they were so concerned, the phone works both ways.) Well my mom and I didn't have your number. Hello! We have never met you or knew anything about you! How were we supposed to get your number? Have a seance with the dead?


That isn't the best part though. After having a huge screaming argument with my mother in front of my dad's open casket, I had a meeting with them. They say they request nothing but the flag that will be presented to my mother at his military service. I know my mother is going to say HELL NO. But I said I would give their request. The meeting was a "bash on Diamond's mother and everyone is against you and you were in the wrong kind" of meetings. It was absolutely ridiculous. And to think, I brought them King cake as a peace offering! At the end of it all...they say they want to keep contact with me and build a relationship. We will see.

All we want is the flag my ass.

The next day, they go to my grandmother's house and tell the renter that we have there to stop paying us and start paying them. They also inquired to someone about George's truck. (which I already told them was unavailable because it isn't paid off) They obviously have no clue. George left us with nothing but debt. That truck isn't paid off. And that house is half ours. Not just grandma's. And she is in the nursing home anyway. She isn't allowed to have more than a certain amount of money in her bank account. Maybe they realized this and that is the reason they want to take grandma back to Colorado to live with them. Good luck in taking care of her. As long as she is happy.


That was George's last request of me. To keep in contact with these people. I'm trying, but it is so hard when it feels like they just want to attack my little family. No hard feelings towards them, but I can't trust them. Iv'e shown that I am trustworthy and now I am waiting on them. I feel like they only came to this funeral to take what they think they are owed, other than the obvious reason. And that is fine. They can take half of his debt. Make it easier on my mom and me. I really hope that I have this all twisted, (you know I see the good in people) but for now, it seems to be over some $$. Greed. When blood isn't thicker than money. 

Being Strong is the Only Choice

Valentine's day.

I was planning on making this ridiculous blog about Valentine's day.

I was going to say how it was the stupidest holiday not because I am bitter, but because I think all holidays are stupid (except for my birthday).

I wanted to talk about the girls who have significant others and post their flowers on Facebook and say how awesome their man is. <--He is your man. If he didn't get you flowers or something...he is less than awesome. The fact that he got you something just means he is mediocre...look at your newsfeed. 

I wanted to tell you all that People should show their love everyday. Send you flowers just because...even that doesn't make him awesome because as your significant other...he SHOULD do that. 

I wanted to tell everyone how much fun I had going out to eat with my gay best friend who isn't gay on Valentine's day, well because we always go out to eat, but Valentine's day deals made it that much better. 

Instead I get to tell you that my step-dad George passed away.(for those new to this blog reference Say Grace & He Never Gave up On Me)

He is gone.

And my heart feels empty.

I had an absolutely amazing day on February 14th 2012. I went to school, got a couple of chocolate wrappers with hearts on it, and even got a half piece of chocolate! Trust me, it was an awesome day because I have awesome friends. 

Some may call this trash, I call it the sweetest gesture a sugar-holic could come up with to give his annoyed classmate

I headed to Garland at around 6:30pm so I could meet up with my awesome opossum friend for our dinner reservations at 7:30. On my way there, I decided to call my parents and tell them Happy Valentine's day. When my mom answered the phone, she was balling her little slanted eyes out to the point where I couldn't understand any of the words she was saying, as if her accent didn't make it hard enough. She told me that she got no sleep. That George had been praying all night the night before to God. He was asking God, "hold my hand" and "give me another chance." That put a huge knot in my throat, but I had to be strong for the woman on the other line. She then told me how he kept repeating to God that he loved him. That was a relief. I became strong again knowing that he did not put the blame on God, that he was praising him the whole way through. 

I said, "Well, that's good mom! Why are you crying??" She said, "I know. But he stopped this afternoon. He hasn't said anything and he is breathing funny." Later I found out that my mom asked him, "who am I?" and he said, "my wife", but when she asked who the nurse's aide was he said the same thing. She knew then that he was going to leave us and called the nursing home to send his mother to our house. When I was on the phone with her, I could hear the pastors praying over him. I told my mom, "Tell George it is Valentine's day. Tell him that I love him." 

She did as I said and called me later to tell me she did. Then I went out to dinner and had a fantastic meal with one of my best friends. A glass of champagne, seafood bisque, ahi tower, salmon with asparagus and red pepper roasted mashed potatoes, dessert, and a couple of beers. It was awesome and all only $40 a person at Soul Fish Grill. We got back, said see ya in the morning, and I went off on my merry way to go cuddle in the bed with my babies. 

I wasn't even on the highway yet when my mom called. I answered and heard her screaming through her tears, "He's gone! He's gone! George is gone!" I calmly told her, "It is going to be ok. He is out of pain now. Call someone to the house to be with you and I will call you back." I cried. I looked at the clock and it said 9:36 (but my clock is 5 minutes slow...I work on CP time). I will always remember that time. I called Awesome Opossum and told him what happened and he told me to turn around and come back. In retrospect, this was probably the best idea, because I was crying pretty hard and tears + 30 minute drive on the highway = DISASTER. 

So after sitting in the house and talking to his mom for a bit, I calmed down and we made some plans. My friends are awesome because they made planning so easy. Awesome Opossum drove me three hours to Shreveport because me driving at 12 at night after crying was out of the question. My friend/family that I call when I'm sick?? Yea, he had all the technical stuff down. Emailed all my teachers for me and confirmed why he is one of my favorite people in the world (Jon you are the best!). My wonderful friends Chris and Kali? Well they have the extra key to my house for a reason! They had the animals taken care of. Elle Woods?? She is keeping Kiwi for me since Aunt Molly is super busy with her mom coming in town this weekend. Girlfriend from college? Yep, she answered the phone at 12:21am and got back up at 3 so we would have a place to crash for the night even though she had work at 7. My blonde highschool friend? She drove two hours to Shreveport to pick me up and take me home.

I'm blessed. God placed me in the right place at the right time when I got the phone call. He put some amazing people in my life and I am so grateful! I never had a great relationship with my real dad...and right now I don't have one at all with him. George barely had a relationship with his kids and that was one of his biggest regrets. That is why we were so close. We filled a void in each other's lives. I finally had a dad and he got to do right by a child. He was the one I called when things went wrong, and the one to tell me when I was in the wrong. He was my biggest cheerleader and I can't tell you how lucky I am to have had him. I may not have had him for long, but God knew exactly what part of my life I would need him and I am thankful for the time I had. I wouldn't be me without him. 

My last goodbye kiss

I will miss him.

But he will always be with me.

He promised to be at my graduation and I know he will be.

We are having the funeral tomorrow Friday, February 17th @ 7pm at Labby Memorial in Leesville. I'm supposed to be saying a few words. You are all welcome to come. Visitation will be at 6. I know we did this pretty quick, but I think my mom has been planning this for a while and just wants to get it over with. 

Last night after Blondie left me I sat in my parents room because my mom was asleep in my bed. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried and ran to my mom and she held me until my little break down was over. This morning I cried because the internet wasn't working and I couldn't ask him how to fix it. I cry when people come over and tell me what a wonderful daughter I am to have come home every weekend. I cry when people send me sweet messages. I haven't cried this much in my life. And I really hope at some point I will stop.

It's weird. Through all of this everyone kept telling me how strong I am. I didn't believe them, but I guess I am. I am going to school to be a doctor, dealt with a completely dramatic relationship that ended horribly, and took care of my terminally ill dad as much as I could. I know people go through much more than I do and persevere, but if you would have told me that I was going to go through this a couple of years ago...I would have told you that I would slit my wrists if that happened. But I didn't. And now I know what it means to be strong.  

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

It's Better to Have Loved and Lost

Ok. So I am SUPPOSED to be studying Diagnostic Imaging III, but I just got pissed enough to get on here and type. I have been having a pretty good day. You know those, looking all cute in my Yellow Michael Kors rain jacket kind of days? Those I wanna blast Britney Spears' Femme Fatale CD kind of days? And I want to stuff my face in rasberry sorbet and drink lots of wine kind of days? Especially those Im way too cool to let shit get me down kind of days?? 

In reference to being cool...

Seriously though, my jacket is way too cute and I was complimented on it all day today. Who doesn't want to wear a bright yellow jacket on a gloomy Dallas day?? It just makes everyone happy! I couldn't even be sad about the stuff going on at home. Granted, everyone kept bringing it up to me today, but it was out of concern for my well-being so I just shrugged it off. I even got to get my professor all flustered when my friend Chris and I started joking about me being an escort and having a headache from banging my head too many times on the headboard. We had to pause class for a good three minutes total because of that comment. =)

You know you want to hit Pin It

Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about what to blog and you know a million zillion ideas were running through my A.D.D. genius mind. I swear I'm like a savant sometimes. <--google it. I am so smart but so stupid and I'll get to that in a second. 

I heard this song on my Pandora the other day and actually listened to it. Kelly says, "...doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone" I had to give one of those church A-mens to that. I'm a lot less lonely now that I don't have douche bag. Molly and I joke about me being the 3rd wheel in her relationship now...and we have to change the verbage. I have ALWAYS been the 3rd wheel because when I was in a relationship, he was never around for one reason or another. Then I remembered what the slut commented on the Yours Truly blog, "you sit at home miserable, lonely, sad" I really want to explain this song to her, but I'm almost sure she won't understand the context because she is an idiot. 

Alright, that is the end of my whore bash...for now. Back to the reason why I am pissed. Ok, So, Good day, studying, and doing laundry. I knew my laundry was dirty, but my sweet blessed baby Jesus. I am minding my own business folding my laundry in our onsite laundry facility at my apartment complex. My cute little neighbor, who usually has a 2 foot adorable shadow walks in. She's white, so you know she wanted to converse about something. She asks, "hey, are you and that guy still living together??" Ummmm No. "Was he your boyfriend?" Yes nosey Nelly, he was. "Oh, well I guess I should have told you some information then." Really lady? That is how you want to end the conversation??? I immediately stopped folding my laundry. 

I say, "Enlighten me."  She proceeds to tell me about this bastard having four hour conversations late at night with one of our hispanic neighbors all the time. Then she goes, "and he was ALWAYS on the phone." Uhhhh yea, that is because he had to go outside to talk to his trollop on the phone so I would't know who he was talking to or what the conversations were about. (In my defense, he always told me he was talking to his baby mamma) I just look at her. She says, "I thought you guys were brother and sister." In a one bedroom?? I talked to you the day I moved in. You KNEW we weren't brother and fucking sister! I said, "well I guess everyone knew what was going on BUT me." (and I should have...William tried to tell me, but that is another story and another blog) She apologized, but I could't even be mad at her. How weird would it have been if she came knocking on my door and told me about this?? 

Conclusions: there are sluts everywhere. From Virginia to your damn neighbor. Men need to learn to keep it in their pants. Damn it. I need to make sure I tell this to my precious nieces when they get older. I swear I will kick someone in the throat over them. They're gonna grow up to be really pretty girls and men are gonna think they are stupid like their mommy and Aunt Diamond were. 

Those dicks have another thing coming. They are gonna be prepared.

Our Harleigh Bug

Her sister Scarlett

I guess my neighbor was nice to tell me though. Better late than never right? And it gives you something more to read about. She told me I was better off. I wanted to say, "no shit", but I agreed. The only thing I could think of to say to her was, "well, at least I have less laundry to do!" And it is true. Check that one on the positives to breaking up with ADC. 

“It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.”

 Dr. Laurence J. Peter (American "hierarchiologist", Educator and Writer, 1919-1990)

He Never Gave Up on Me

My sincerest apologies for not updating my blog this week! I left my charger 5 hours away from its counterpart! I feel like there is so much I have to catch you up on!!! Apparently slut's friend convinced her that it was in her best interest to stop commenting on my blog because it is immature. Hopefully, I can continue to freely express my opinions about the floozy and her dick of a significant other without having her all up in mines. 

I came home early this week because step-dad's hospice nurse called me into town. He lost A LOT of blood Wednesday night, so she thought it'd be best if I was here sooner than later. I got in around 5 am, and as usual, he put a smile on, told his baby girl "hi," and went back to sleep. I am glad to report that he is resting quite comfortably due to morphine and ativan in a BED; that keeps me happy. He hasn't been in a bed in a month.

Remember when I told you that I may make you cry? Well, this is probably the blog that will jerk a tear or two. These weekly visits have been taking an emotional toll on me. I knew George's health would continually decline, but I don't think I was prepared for how quickly things would happen. All he has been wanting to do is hold my hand, kiss my hand, and tell me that I am his gaurdian angel. Last week he wouldn't open my eyes to talk to me; I recognized then that I needed to tell him everything on my heart. 

With his eyes closed, he held my hand and whispered, "don't give up on me." I shed a tear and squeezed his hand back and told him, "I never will." As long as he was willing to fight, I was going to be against the ropes. We are a tag team. He promised that he'd be at my graduation, squeezed my hand tight and we both cried. Later he told me that he had some unfinished business to do. He has to be there to walk me down the aisle...to be see his grand kids. Right now, I have to believe that he will keep those promises, whether it be in the physical or in spirit. 

I wish I never had to let go

Those nights I slept in the living room with him, holding his hand, assuring him that I was by his side. Mom had his right hand and I had his left. He didn't sleep a wink. I don't know if he was trying to soak it all in or if his anxiety just got the best of him. He would wake up every five minutes and call out our names to make sure we were there. I've been feeling completely helpless at this point. I can't take away his pain. I can''t comfort him. I can't help him sleep and I can't take away his cancer. 

When he was awake, I'd read him the bible, sang him songs, and told him funny stories from school. I wanted to make sure I got ALL my time in. I was avoiding talking about death, but it was on my heart and he needed to hear it while he was coherent. So I told him what Elle Woods and I had talked about the other day. How Christian people seem to be at peace when they pass. That God would never leave you alone...he'd send someone you recognized to come and get you. That he will know when the time would be and there was no need to be scared. Thankfully, his pastors came over later and reinforced this idea. They prayed over him for several hours giving us all faith in a miracle. 

Prayers for strength and healing

Today was pretty rough for me though. I haven't seen his eyes all day and I've barely heard his voice. I just wanted him to look at me and say, "there is that beautiful smile, my baby girl." All I could do was talk to him and let him know I was there. Even grandma came in today. The nursing home brought her over so she could talk to him for a bit. I listened to the conversation up until the point of her telling him how much she loved him through her tears. I had to leave the room, get some air, and just cry.

I'm ready for all the pain to be over. I love him so so much. He NEVER had to love me because I am not his own. But he has been an amazing father to me especially when mine was being less than amazing. If God's only reason for George to be on this earth was to raise me to be a strong, God fearing woman, then he succeeded and his time here is finished. I don't tell you this story to make you sad. I want you to see that through every adversity is really a blessing. Even though George is in immense pain, he still gives God the glory and praise for the wonderful life that he has lived. I and other people around me are better because of cancer. I found out who my real friends are, I learned how strong I can be and this situation will allow me to be a better doctor.

Say prayers for my family and me as we traverse through this new journey. I won't give up on George because he never gave up on me.

Just Like You, Only Prettier

Well didn't we have some entertainment this weekend? Verbal warfare at its best. I am a little disappointed that a month into my blog, the climax has already arrived however. Now you will expect to read high drama EVERY week. Hopefully though, people will stop trying so hard to analyze my life and focus on theirs and just read my blog for what it is, fun.  Hate to disappoint you guys. The dramatics just further solidified that miserable people will continually try to make other people's lives miserable. People can't stand it when others are doing better than them, or better than what they think they should. 

Y'all, I do not sit at home and play pitty party. I go home and do things I love. I cook, play with the animals, watch MY shows, craft, and most importantly shop. My classmates can attest to my shopping. I keep coming to school with new outfits and shoes. I mean HELLO!!! I have a shit ton more money now that someone isn't constantly leaching off of me! And as far as my face value goes...trying to convince an ex teenage model & pageant contestant (I told you I was Southern) that she is ugly is hard to do. I will never claim to be the most beautiful person in the world, but I'm cute damn it! And let's not even start on brains. I have two bachelors degrees, am working on the third, and will attain a doctorate degree in 2013. You can call me an over achiever or you can call me a genius. Most people will just call me Dr. Diamond. 

Got my white coat to prove it!

So let's recap the things we have learned this weekend:

• The definition of a slut via dictionary.com
• That no matter what a slut says, they can't justify their slutty actions
• Bitches be trippin
• When playing verbal warfare, the person with the bigger vocabulary wins
• Replying to someone's blog after they said that they have no qualms with you is stupid
• My friends are verbally abusive
• Someone is spamming my blog link
• My professor thinks it's awesome to call someone out on a blog and agrees with the slut definition. Well, my classmates and I learned that.

So guys, this is my truce. My for the last time, I AM NOT MAD AT THE OTHER WOMAN!! It is hard to be mad at an imbecile. Hell, I'm not even bitter at the situation. Great quote: "Bitterness is a toxin you prepare for someone else but drink yourself." <-- Been watching a lot of Billy Graham. Sometimes things that happen in your life are unfortunate. You find out later though that they were the greatest blessings! I mean could you imagine my continued life with that dick? 


I wouldn't blame anyone from being miserable that was with him. I mean, I KNOW that I wasn't the only person he tried to do this to. There was one before me. Post 2009. I communicated with another chick. She just happened to have more common sense than me and didnt fall for the antics. I need to learn to be more guarded, which is hard to do when two of your best friends talk like hallmark cards when it comes to love. (I have no clue what happened to my font in that paragraph.)

I promise to continue with the sarcasm and involve you in the hilarious situations God puts me in. And I promise to catch you up on my latest Pinterest crafts and recipies!! I am so sad that I have neglected to share the awesomeness that I found on that site! Your'e gonna laugh, cry, be inspired, and sometimes be bored, but I'm glad to have your support! I think when it comes to this weekend's drama, Miranda Lambert said it best, "We might think a little differently, but we got a lot in common you WILL see...I'm just like you, only prettier."

Yours Truly

When I think about all the things I tend to lose or misplace in my life, I am glad that my head is attached to my body because I would probably lose that too. One thing I do refuse to lose anymore is my sanity. It's a waste of time. That being said, I'd like to explain that this blog is full of facts and my OPINIONS are based on those facts. You don't have to like my opinions and if they are about you, then maybe you should re-evalute your life because I base my opinion on these truths.

As my lovely followers know, there were several comments made in response to my Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid blog. This is my reply. I am NOT sobbing about my break-up. My goodness, I'm glad that it's over. No one should stay in a loveless relationship. Finding out everything I did made it that much easier for me to get out. Do I love drama? Who doesn't??? That's why reality shows do so well. America's Next Top Model isn't in its 19th cycle because people care about a bunch of tall skinny bitches taking photographs. It's a hit show because bitches are triflin' and dramatic. My life is entertaining due to the immense amount of controversy and drama I stir up. (Yes, I admit, I stir the pot) So of course I want to share it! And my blog has been a huge success because of it.

My blog is just my documented journey of my newly found single life. The journey is going to have its ups and downs, but I want to show the world...or my Facebook friends for that matter, that it is possible to move on, trust, and love, after repeated shitty relationships. And hey, good recipes and fun projects found on Pinterest isn't bad either! So, as much as you would love for this blog to be about you, it never will be.

I could care less what you do with your life. You only get mentioned because you are part of a background story that is pertinent for my readers to understand. I already said I wasn't mad at what you did, it was fucked up, but that's the nature of the beast. I can only be mad at my ability to be naive and the man that I invested time in. So you can get off your high horse in thinking that you are a daily part of my thoughts.

I just call 'em like I see 'em. Dictionary.com says a slut is

1. a dirty,slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

I'd like to go with definition number two. Most people would agree that knowingly sleeping with someone else's significant other, no matter what that other says, is immoral. So technically you can be a mom, a student, have your shit together, and be the fucking preacher's daughter and still be a slut. Also, if you look up slut on Thesaurus.com you will see the other synonyms I provided in the blog. I may be southern, but I'm not an idiot. My vocabulary is just more expanse than yours.

I wasn't trying to put you on "blast" as you so eloquently put it. No one knew who you were until you posted your entire name. See, I actually had enough respect for you to NOT do that. I guess it is just part of this attention complex that you seem to have, but I'm no psychologist. However, if you need an adjustment or two, I'll be in clinic in 7 months. :) Oh, and BTW that reply to your comment was not from me, so you addressed the wrong person. Looks like someone needs to stop reading what they want to read and read the facts.

Finally, I have no need to get to know you. If I wanted to do that, I would have taken you up on your suggestion and friended you on your Facebook or took you out for a nice dinner and drinks. Oh and I did my research as you asked, nothing popped up on Google. Sorry. I would like to thank you and your friends however, for supporting my blog by reading it and creating more controversy!

Yours truly