Black, Yellow, Red, and Itchy All Over.

Since starting Chiropractic school I keep hearing about this Universe business. "The laws of the universe say..."Oh Em Gee!! What is this Universe crap??!! Everyone kept telling me, "what you put out in the Universe, the Universe gives back to you." It is the law of Cause and Effect; For every action there is a reaction. So basically, if you think positively, positive things will happen. If you desire something, you will get that desire in effect. Thank GOD, all I ever desire is marrying Dirk Nowitzki. 

Love this power forward for The Dallas Mavs!

Maybe the Universe is confused...I also say that I want a Brazilian plastic surgeon with green eyes. Put those two desires together, and the Universe will apparently give you asshole after asshole. Anyway, I recently learned from my cray cray relationship friend...(I forgot. We can no longer call her that...I am proud to say that the cray cray relationship no longer exists. So, we will just call her an old nickname) Elle Woods that when you talk about someone, the Universe thinks that you want that person in your life and makes them magically pop up.

 

Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa....that girl I talked about a couple blogs ago that used to be my best friend...ran into her in the Shreveport McAlisters after 2 years of not EVER seeing her OR living in the same city. Oh, and dick wad's mom...ran into her at the grocery store when I went home to see my parents. 

Lesson learned: don't confuse the Universe. 

I vow to only put positivity and my true desires out into the Universe especially, after last night. I did retail therapy yesterday and when I returned from my shopping extravaganza, my leg started to itch. My logic is, if you itch, take a shower...and I did. I was still feeling itchy and thought, "maybe my skin is dry"; I put on some lotion, threw on a Vicky's Secret night gown, and hopped in bed with the love of my life, my diagnostic imaging book. I STILL ITCHED! I just knew it was the lace on my night gown irritating my skin. Nope. The itch grew stronger and started traveling up to my torso then arms. Not to mention, I was starting to get little bumps from scratching.

By this point I couldn't take it. I was scratching like a dog with fleas on a hot summer day. I am not usually a fanatic of medicine seeing as I am a future chiropractor, but this needed some attention from my old friend Benadryl and his partner Cortisol 10. I made my trip to good ol' Wally World twitching and scratching like a crack head. In fact, the itch had made it up to my scalp. I forsaw this long night when I realized it was 11 o'clock, and I was sitting in my car rubbing hydrocortisone all over my body like a porn star rubbing lube, or oil, or whatever makes them so shiny, all over herself. Miserable.

What did I do? The only thing I knew to do. Go see a family member to take care of me. (When you go to Chiropractic school, you spend countless hours with people that you see more than your family and in turn becomes your new family). I get to my friend/ family's house and he doctors me up with some thoracic adjustments deep palpation (what a chiropractic student legally has to call and "adjustment"), ice, and water to take my Benadryl. I finally get drowsy and fall asleep flat on my back in anatomical position as to not establish any itching. The witching hour [<--reference The Exorcism of Emily Rose] arrived however, and I was in some intense pain. I tossed and turned for an hour when I realized the pressure from the bed and blankets made me welt up like no one's business. So guess where we went at 4 A.M.??

4 am trip to Texas Medical Center's ER

After criticizing the nurse's intelligence, we went into the coveted emergency exam room where I continued to stand in anatomical position. We were in there for a while continually scrutinizing the intelligence of the medical community and talking about what pictures to take for this blog. We got really bored and started messing with the equipment making it beep and trying to figure out how to shut that damn thing off. This room was fancy. It even had a pretty painting on the ceiling. 

Not sure if this is calming, or just plain creepy

Finally the doc came in, pretended to look in my ears and mouth, asked me if my rash was just on my legs (if he would have attempted to look at me, he would have seen it was on my arms and torso too), and then walked out. That was it. Didn't even give me his name. I felt like a cheap whore.

He returned 15 minutes later with my prescription for hives and sent me on my way. Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining!! It is 5 A.M., I'm itching like a mad man, not to mention in pain, and he only wrote me a scrip for a diagnosis that I already diagnosed myself with? I was looking forward to a steroid shot. I could have made an appointment with my regular doctor a few hours later if this was all he was going to do!!! But that isn't the best part. Just as we are leaving, I find out that I am not on my dad's family insurance like he led me on to believe. If I am gonna be paying for this visit out of pocket, I could at least get a shot right? Nope. My jack ass doctor, who goes by the name of Mark Lekas, (it was on my bracelet) told me that the prescriptions he wrote me were cheap and insisted that I leave without any care. That's medicine for ya. 

I just felt like I didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. But, I'm alive and well and highly medicated. For now on, the Universe will only receive positive energy from me as to avoid any negative happenings. I can't take another chance on the recurrence of being black, yellow, red, and itchy all over.