I Hate Peanut Butter

It was hard for me to blog tonight because I have been so distracted! I am the most frugal person in the world except for when it comes to shoes. Love shoes. I have a lot of shoes. In turn, I have no cable. It's unnecessary for a chiropractic student. I do however, have internet. As much as it is a necessary for a student to have internet, it is highly unnecessary to being productive. It gives you access to everything. Thank you Al Gore!! 

I mean, my happy ass likes to shop online, communicate with friends online, listen to music online and most importantly, watch tv online. You see, Hulu is an amazing thing. I pay $7 a month and watch all the shows that everyone else watches minus sports. That is the only downfall....I can't watch Dirk (I am the future Mrs. Nowitzki), and I can't watch LSU football. Buuuuuuut, I can watch Pretty Little Liars, House, and The Lying Game the day after they air. Good deal right?? Well, The three awesome shows I named, they all air on Monday. So on Tuesday I have a lot of catching up to do!! Hence my highly distracted situation. 

Hulu, is definitely not what I want to really tell you about though. I want to tell you guys about my comical text messaging experience I had with childhood bestie. Remember how I told you that texting is the worst form of communication (the number 2 killer to all relationships)?? Well here is why:

CHB: Black ppl are called ghetto, white ppl are trashy, Mexicans are dirty...what are Asians? 

Me: Love you long time? 

CHB: No lol like low class dirty Asians are commonly called what??   

Me: Happy endings? 

Me: IDK? What? 

Me: Low class and Asian is an oxymoron 

CHB: Uugghh this isn't a joke or riddle you are supposed to figure out asswipe!!! 

CHB: Lmfao!!!! I don't fucking know I was asking YOU!!! 

CHB: This soooo needs to be posted of fb I'm dying laughing!!!! 

Me: At this conversation?  

Me: I was being so serious!

We need to pause. I am currently catching up on House and typing at the same time. Meanwhile, my new upstairs neighbor's kid is banging on some drum or something. I want to go upstairs and chastise the kid (dramatic? yes), I generally like kids...but this one is loud all the damn time. (I know, don't have kids Diamond. I'm getting to that point) She cries a lot....in the middle of the night. UGH. If I wanted to be a mother, I would have gotten knocked up by douche bag and been an awesome single mother wondering where my child support his like his ex-wife. BUT I am not, so I am slightly annoyed. I only want to hear the sound of my typing and the television. Is that so much to ask? I now instantly regret ever buying Jacobee (my friend's son) that noise making instrument toy his first Christmas when I was in high school. I thought it was funny at the time. Now?? I know better. Back to the convo:

CHB: True definition of miscommunication!! 

CHB: I'm asking you a serious question and you fucking reply with "love you long time." like wtmf 

Me: It looked like a punchline was coming! 

CHB: Lmfao!!!!! No bitch. 

What did I tell you people?! WORST FORM OF COMMUNICATION. It's a pretty sad thing. And I am about to sound like an old grandma, but Alexander Graham Bell (I am not good at history, forgive me if this is the wrong guy) invented the phone to bring us together. Little did he know that one day people would have blue lights flashing on their ears and appear to be talking to themselves. And even worse...that people would someday skip verbal conversations, talk to a robotic woman named Syri (coolest app ever), to text message a person an entire fucking conversation.

In a loud club, sometimes texting is the only form of communication...aside form your ass shaking

Dear fellow blog readers. If you have a text messaging feature, please note the following:

• No one wants to read a novel in text message. That is what Barnes & Nobles or a subscription to Cosmo is for. 
• Text messaging short hand like, ILY, GN, WYD would probably make Graham say "FML OMG WTF IDK SMH?"
• Punctuation is important. It conveys feelings.
• Sending the text "call me" when you have yet to attempt to call the person yourself is stupid. YOU call me bitch!
• Autocorrect...Its dangerous. You find out what kind of words that person really types on a daily basis. 
• Sometimes using the grammar you learned in school is practical. It helps the person figure out what in the hell you are trying to say. 
• Be careful when you are talking shit about your friend. For some reason, typing their name in a text ALWAYS makes you type their name in the recipient box. They will no longer be your friend. 
• The proper use of punctuation is important. It conveys feelings.
• You can't REALLY hear the other person's voice in a text message even though you think you can. That's YOUR voice. 
• Some pictures are inappropriate. I feel like I don't need to elaborate on this
• Breaking up with someone over text messaging just makes the texter look bad. Grow some balls.
• Punctuation is important. I really CAN'T hear your voice! I have no idea how you are really saying something. GIVE ME A HINT!

So yes when you send me a text like, "dog went to water and gone PHM" don't get mad because I can't figure out what the hell you are saying. Call me. 

I am not saying that I am the innocent party here. I only know the rules because I once was/ am guilty. I am the pot calling the kettle black, preaching to the choir, and all the other hypocritical cliches you can come up with. The only point I am trying to make is that texting is full of miscommunications. It leads to arguements, break ups, damaged friendships, drunken sex, and a hell of a lot of confusion. Sometimes it is just better to combine your words with your voice and call a person...unless your mute or deaf. In that case I apologize for being a inconsiderate bitch.

I have horrible text ettiquete anyway. I'm always doing something other than responding to the text. Half the time I respond to it in my head and just never physically type the letters. If it is around 6 o'clock p.m., don't text me. Im usually cooking and listening to Lil Wayne. Speaking of, here was tonight's dinner - Crockpot Hawaiian chicken with asparagus.

Don't judge my dining. I was watching Pretty Little Liars!

The recipie is in my cookin' slow board on my Pinterest. The glass of Pinot Grigio went perfectly with my sweet chicken meal and marathon TV watching, especially because Beringer makes some unusually strong Pinot. And this week I gave myself a special surpise. DESSERT!!!

Frozen Banana Bites. You know where to click!! --> here

Dinner was fantastic and I had very little text interruption during my observance of fantastic television. My dad understands the concept of calling and respecting my TV obsession and I was highly grateful. I would never complain about any dessert; however, I would probably use less peanut butter and more chocolate in my banana bites the next time because, well, I hate peanut butter.