A Southern Belle Rant

Things I miss about my life in Louisiana

• Daiquiris
• Drive through daiquiris
• Driving while drinking daiquiris

They key is to drink the daiquiri and wipe off the straw and put it back under the tape. 

• Partying until 6 a.m. 
• My friends

• Being able to say the F word in every other sentence without anyone judging me
• Being able to wear skimpy clothing without anyone judging me
• Meeting new people and them not judging me
• Not being judged period 

I call this masterpiece, dead frog on tennis ball

• Having intelligent conversations everyday with intelligent people 

So I went home on the weekend. Home becomes a really confusing word. Most people mean it as where they are from. And yes, my mother's house in Leesville will always be my home. But you know the saying "home is where the heart is"? Well, I left my heart in Shreveport. So to me Louisiana is just home in general.

I spent 5 years in Shreveport growing up into the woman I am now. A lot of maturing occurred there. I lived on my own, made friends on my own, and even voted in that duration. How could I not have an attachment to that place? Luckily this time our drunken nights left us with just mundane stories. No bones were broken in the process.

I, however, did get to wear my sparkly see through panty hose as our theme for the night was porn star. Don't judge me. No one else did. 

Porn star hair...check

Porn star make-up...check

Porn star dress and pimp...check

Now on to bigger and more important things. Chik-fil-a...

Oh. You wanted me to say something about it? I feel like the rest of the world has done that for me. Who gives a fuck if chik-fil-a supports gay marriage or not? Their milkshakes are awesome! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and eating there doesn't make you a homophobe. I'm a Christian, support gay marriage and love the fuck out of some Chik-fil-a. 

Get your panties out of a bunch and drink a bud light. It doesn't hurt you for them to be gay and it doesn't hurt you for them to be married. Focus on something else like crazy ass people shooting up movie theaters. Im. Just. Saying. 

Ok...now on to this Gabby Douglas chick. She is awesome. I wanna piss my pants with excitement when I see her perform. Are people really talking about her hair? Hello! Her hair is NOT naturally straight. We have talked about this on a previous blog! If you have curly hair, straighten it, then sweat, it's going to look like shit. Why are we worried about a 16 year olds hair? She won a fucking gold medal. So until you work your ass off and win a gold medal with perfect hair, shut the hell up.

Next topic: Kim Kardashian...

Bitch is insecure.

I am so tired of her making the news because she tweeted a photo of herself in a bikini and the caption of, "no photoshop". Bitch I take bikini pictures all the time and don't photoshop, no one cares. We have already seen you naked with no photoshop having sex with Ray J...with no photoshop. I get it. You are a beautiful girl. Cover your tits up sometime. 

Hey Kim! I wear bikinis too! Oh and my hair looks like crap after it is all wet from the lake...go figure. 

Alright. My ranting is done. If there is anything else you would like me to rant about leave me a comment. Other than that I am going to call it an early night and hit the sack!

P.s. Someone buy me one of these!