Soccer hottie and I went to Lower Greenville together where it is apparently "cool" to party on this Irish holiday. She ended up hanging out with her friends at Stan's and I hung out with mine at RGBG's. Amongst all the other things I learned that day, I learned that we just have completely different friends. Her and her friends think it is inappropriate to show your boobs at Mardi Gras for some pretty plastic beads. My friends and I however, LOVE boobies!! You see how this could pose a problem when I'm a drunk bitch grabbing random girls boobs to see if they were real. Don't judge, those hookers let me!
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| Aaannnndddd her friends think it is cool to wear heels/wedges on an occasion like this. I thought it was dumb, but that is because I'm a giant. |
- We rode together
- Phone service SUCKED down there
- My phone was in her car
- We parked over a mile away
- Her number was the only number I had access to
- My phone was in her car!
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| You see all those people? That is the crowd I had to walk through to find my girlfriend only to find out she was about to leave me!
Now don't go around thinking that SH is a douche bag. She was drunk. I'm pretty sure that she ate less than I did. So her, her friend, and I are trekking through Lower Greenville trying to get to her car so I can get my phone when her friend suggest us taking a cab. This was a good idea because 3 drunk people walking over a mile through a green crowd sounded like a terrible one. We get in the cab and tell the cabby that we want to get to the car off Mockingbird and Greenville. Ugh, this is where it all went down.
SH's drunk ass thinks that she actually knows where the hell she is going so she argues with me on where the car actually is. I get on her phone to google map the area and show her where I believed the car was stationed, but she obviously knew without a shadow of a doubt, how to get there. Now Mr. Cab man has to drive half way around the world to get us to the area we wanted to be in because everything was barricaded off. I should have known this was going to be a problem because we had a straight shot walk down there and making turns in a cab felt like being in a shaken up snow globe.
He gets us on our way to Mockingbird when SH decided to let him know that he was going the wrong way. I was following the little blue dot the ENTIRE time and told her that we were headed in the correct direction, but apparently she turned into the world's first human GPS. She literally had a debate with this dude in which he responds, "I am the driver! I know where I am going!" He gets so fed up with the back and forth that he politely...and I do mean politely kicks us out. He says, "this is as far as I can take you." Bull shit
So here we are, walking AGAIN and I am irate. SH and her friend are walking behind me and having a grand old time while I am stomping my way through the street thinking about how I could be to my phone right now had this girl just shut her mouth. So I made friends. Some black guys walking next to me were all, "say girl" and I waved my hand at them. I didn't have time. One of them says, "Oh, we aint tryin' to holla at you. We just wanna know if you got a cigarette." I said no and told them that I also needed one at that point (I don't smoke) and could go for a little ganja. And what do you know...these dudes have some in their pocket and start rolling it up as we are walking. Way to be a stereotype guys.
SH, her friend, and I stop at a food stand for food while my new "friends" went on their way doing their illegal business. That is when her friend has had enough of the walking and thinks we should try the cab again. Sigh. So we do and Ms. GPS gives directions; I let her this time. Just to prove to her that she was wrong and plus, I was not in the mood to dispute. After sending us on a wild goose chase, I politely give my instructions and Viola! We are at the car!!!
We get in, I get my phone and I am ready to drive us where ever they want to go when I hear, "I left my phone in the cab!" Really?! Really?! Is this happening right now?!! So I ask which way the cab went and start following that damn thing. In the mean time, SH is in the back seat bitching to me about how fucked up it is that I don't care about her phone and I only cared about mine. That we had to go all around the world to find my phone and I was not gonna go find hers. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Am I NOT trying to chase down a cab??!
So guess who has had enough of this day, stops the car in some random ass neighborhood, gets out and says, "fuck you!" Yep, if you guessed me you would be correct. I walked away through some barricades as I heard, "Diamond!!" slowly disappearing from my ears. Ahhh. Silence. I call Awesome Opossum, because duh, he is awesome and would definitely come save me, when I run into some people from a house party convincing me to go over to it. It was actually the perfect idea, because then he would have an address to get to instead of guesstimating where my enraged ass walked to.
They looked safe: an overly happy black man and his woman friend holding a baby bottle
Yep, they offered me food and more alcohol and I gladly obliged. Made some new friends and waited for my ride to get there so I could vent. That was my St. Patrick's day. It ended with sun still up, but hey...if anyone has ever partied with white people...you would know that I was EXHAUSTED. Next year, I will be prepared and have a shirt that says: Kiss me I'm Blasian!
[ P.s. Soccer hottie and I are over our fight. That is what friends do, get drunk, fight, and make up! If you and your friends don't do that you need to reevaluate your friendships ;) ]
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