Here are my thoughts on long distance relationships: a preface to another post.
I am a professional at them and every time it was the guy that effed it up because I was the only one willing to do it!
Por ejemplo:
Imagine it, being 18, madly in love with your tall, handsome boyfriend and having to go to separate colleges. No big deal right? Your love can survive anything. And let's be real, the hour commute between Natchitoches and Shreveport is nothing! I was gonna be busy studying to get my biology degree, and he, well he would definitely be doing something. It was perfect and totally do-able.
So what happens? It was do-able, but his jealousy got the best of him. There would be boys in and out of my room (because I had a single roommate) and he would get mad even though I would be on the phone with him and not talking to any of those guys. Trust went out the window and finally the relationship came to its violent demise.
No worries though, soon you start a relationship with someone else. He's fun, makes you laugh, and accepts you for the crazy girl you are. One break up in between the 2 years of being together isn't that big of a deal because forgiveness is an awesome thing. So when it is time for him to move back to Michigan while you finish your degree you guys just quietly assume that a year a part isn't that big of a deal especially when there are things called planes.
Skip to that moment. He leaves you're fine and you call him everyday after you get out of work at 10pm. He is constantly going out and doesn't have but 5-10 minutes to talk to you because he is going to have fun with his friends and there is an hour time difference. Now you question your assumption. You ask him to call you in the mornings before you're off to class all day and he declines because he wants to sleep in, so fed up you stop calling. He doesn't call you back...ever...for two whole weeks!! Well, luckily for you you've been going on innocent dates with other guys because you aren't going to wait around forever. So at the end of two weeks, you call to end what's left of your relationSHIT.
So you tell yourself, this is bullshit, you can't do this long distance thing anymore just because it doesn't work. You pull yourself away from any guy that even has any kind of distance in their future.
Then you meet the guy that changes your entire life. The kind of guy that makes you start a blog about your hilarious life. You meet him and he is great (or poses to be) but he lives on the east coast and you live in hell (Dallas). You for some idiotic reason decide to talk to him every day. This isn't the kind of long distance get to know you thing you're used to. This person actually calls...seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, and hell, he's kind of cute too.
Fast forward to him moving to Dallas "for you" and now you have a live in boyfriend. You learn that starting a relationship long distance is completely different than starting one in real life. You fall for the person that you imagine them to be on the phone. Not that actual person. You in fact don't really know them no matter how much they've told you on the phone or what they show you during visits. It's an act of putting their best foot forward because they like you and want you to like them too. You imagine this person to be exactly who they say they are and when you aren't on the phone with them you imagine them shitting unicorns and rainbows out of their ass.
We all know how that relationship ended.
Do I think long distance works? I think it can but only if BOTH parties want to make it work. It is a challenge in even the strongest of relationships. There has to be trust and you have to know this person to some level.( If you start a relationship from ground zero you should probably read the first year of my blog before pursing that.) There also needs to be some kind of commitment. I mean if you are wanting to visit this person every so often, there is a commitment in that. That's hard especially when you are a commitment-phobe like me. Most importantly I learned that changing your entire life for someone who isn't willing to change some part of theirs for you isn't worth it. Every relationship is a compromise but even more so in a LD one. There needs to be some outcome. You can't just do it and see what happens. It needs to be we will do this for however long with the outcome of X. You know?
My point exactly
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