Canadian Bacon

Happy Thanksgiving Canada. Way to steal the shine from Christopher Columbus. 

As you may remember, I have my own personal Canadian. Also, if your mind serves you correctly, you know that Canada is weird.

Well in order to segregate themselves even further, they celebrate their own Thanksgiving. What the hell? At least get a different name. 

Today as we celebrate Columbus day, Canadians are breaking out the Canadian bacon giving thanks for the land not freezing over and killing all the crops. 

Actually, I don't know why they really celebrate Thanksgiving and they obviously don't learn that in school because my Canadian had to wiki that shit. So here are some interesting facts about Thanksgiving in Canada via wikipedia:

• Similar to the United States, traditions such as parades and football (which is not real football) can be a part of Canadian Thanksgiving
• Canadian Thanksgiving coincides with the U.S. observance of Columbus Day and has done so since the United States implemented the Uniform Monday Holiday Act in 1971
• The first Thanksgiving Day  was observed as a civic holiday on April 5, 1872, to celebrate the recovery of  King Edward VII (who was the prince at the time) from a serious illness.
• In its early years it was for celebrated for an abundant harvest 
• The first Thanksgiving in Canada was celebrated 43 years before the pilgrims landed in Plymouth, Massachusetts

Names I suggest Canadians use for Thanksgiving:

1. Harvest day <-- because that makes the most sense
2. Thank God it Hasn't Snowed Yet So We Can Eat This Winter day 
3. Pilgrims and Indians are Child's Play day
4. Snow Kills Crops, but Not This Year day 
5. Plymouth Rock Deez Nuts day
6. Earth's Bounty day
7. Fuck Christopher Columbus day
8. Canadian Bacon day <--- because 'Turkey day' is OUR thing
9. Let's One Up The American's by Celebrating Thanksgiving First day

Your ass just got educated and you're welcome. Happy Thanksgiving day Canada. I hope you don't freeze you're asses off like I did this weekend, though it's inevitable that you will. Enjoy your Canadian bacon, Mac&Cheese, and Canadian beer. 

Tomorrow I plan on celebrating Leif Erickson Day since the Canadians stole Columbus' thunder. It sounds like a better idea anyway. Plus, I imagine Leif looking like Chris Hemsworth. Now that is something to celebrate. 

Leif Erikson day never looked so good.

Happy Thanksgiving Yall!