J.O.B.

I am a total slacker on this blog, but I am super busy. Not really. Just super tired. 

I just want to tell you how insanely broke I am. Like, it should be illegal to be this broke, or I should be supplemented by the government (Yea right, hard working woman with no money receive help from the government? Puh!) 

Currently, I am looking for a J.O.B because well...life costs money. You don't believe me? Part 3 and 4 boards are coming up and they have to be paid in January as soon as I get my loan check. You thought I was going to tell you that it cost me my head right? You're wrong. It only costs about 2 arms and a leg. That's right $1900. Uhhhh How am I supposed to pay rent again? 

Exactly

So I've been on a job hunt and let me tell you that is going as great as my recruiting patients into the clinic to graduate (currently 0 of the 15 recruits I need have been achieved). I've applied to what feels like everywhere, but my clinic schedule (9-7) is deterring people from hiring me. 

Last tri I decided that the best place to get a job is at the strip club...waitressing people! Geez get a grip. I've been to the titty bar before with friends on different occasions and quite frankly women walking abound topless isn't that big of a deal for me. It's like changing in the locker room or living with my mom. Anyways, I know some people that know some people, but the nice club I have been to and wanted to work at wasn't hiring. Womp Womp. So I tried another one that a friend of mine worked at when she lived here. Couldn't be too awful right? 

I went to go pick up a girlfriend (just in case it was sketch) to apply in person and I could smell the vultures on us. We walk in and the front girl who was as rude and dull as all get out handed me an application. I filled it out and she told me to go inside to the bar. Thank God I didn't go alone because this was an experience that needed to be shared. 

My friend walks in ahead of me when the front girl says that I am the only one allowed in. So I walk in past a mini stage with a pole attached and saw all kinds of goodies hanging out. My eyes immediately darted to the bar so I wouldn't be distracted by...the cookies in the jar. I sit at the bar and this guy walks over and sits next to me with a plate of food. We spoke while I waited on the waitress manager. 

Now I was dressed in my clinic clothes so I looked a lot fancier than anyone in that joint. The man asks if I was there to get a job. I replied yes and he proceeded to ask which job, "Bouncer, waitress, dancer?" I joked that I was a shoe in for the bouncer job in which he responded that I looked more like the dancer. When I crushed his dreams with my aspirations of just becoming a waitress, he tried to convince me to be like the topless woman in a purple thong on the main stage who seemed to be absolutely and insanely high. 

By this point the manager walks over and pulls me aside for the interview. The interview process went something like, "How old are you? Do you have reliable transportation? Are you comfortable with the uniform?" At this point I'm just thinking, this is a piece a cake! Nailed it!

So we part ways, say goodbye and I walk out to see my more than ready to leave friend at the door. We walk out and share our experiences in which I was told that the girl on the mini stage...(you know the one with her stuff out) had a green thong wrapped around her leg with dollar bills in it. Ok, so she was showing her noonie cat. Then she told me that the woman was siting on the stage with her legs wide open in front of a man's face and her hands in her netherlands. 

Oh God. This just took a turn. And now you are all...well, what did you expect?! I'll tell you what I expected! Panties! I have never been to a titty bar where they took off their thongs! In fact, I think that is a rule in Louisiana!!! It is called titty bar for a reason! The emphasis is on the T-word. Honestly, I just don't know if I could be around vagina all day. No fret though, the club never called me back to work there. The strip club doesn't even want me. 

So I am continuing to be jobless with and moneyless. If you would like to donate to my eduacation and living Id gladly set up a paypal account, but alas I do NOT see anyone being that generous. 

Merry Christmas Yall!

Thankful

Last night I had a typical (eventful) Molly and Diamond night out and about in the town. As the night came to a close, we started talking about the random things that have happened to us in the past. So I decided to share some of the ridiculousness that I have called my life...because I'm pretty sure ridiculous is the only adjective appropriate to describe my past, present, and future.

You may or may not know this, but Shreveport, La is like a mecca for shooting movies because it is tax free to film movies in Louisiana. My sophomore year of college, a film crew came on Centenary's gorgeous campus to shoot an ABC family movie and use some of the students as extras. As this was during the summer break, I was in Leesville when I got the call to be an extra. It was a paying gig so I was all about it. 

I drove back to Shreveport and decided to stay with my boyfriend at the time until the job was over. On the first day, my job got upgraded from extra to Stand-in for Tessa Thompson!

Tessa Thompson in all her gorgeousness!

It was a pretty awesome deal especially since the pay was also upgraded. Literally I stood around, hung out with the other stand-ins and ate a lot from crafty 12hours a day. This also meant that I would have to be on set more days with the weekends off. I was going to be driving back and forth to Shreveport on a weekly basis.

On the set of Initiation of Sarah 2006

One weekend in Leesville, my friend Beth and I were at a car wash when my power steering in my car went out and I went straight into a 3 inch steel pole (No, I wasn't driving! I had just let off the breaks and couldn't turn my steering wheel). Now I was carless and needed to be in Shreveport on Monday. My dad had a little Ford S2 that he offered to let me drive, but the gas gage didn't work. He told me exactly how much gas it could hold and how many hours I could drive before it would need to be filled up. With that in mind, I had plenty of gas to make it to Natchitoches (half way point between Leesville and Sherveport) before I would need to fill up and make calculations. 

At 6 am, I could see the Natchitoches lights ahead of me. At the same time, the truck started doing strange things. No matter how hard I pushed on the gas, the car kept slowing down. Great. Finally the car came to a stop on the side of the highway. Not only had I wrecked my car previously, but now I was out of gas, in the dark, on the side of a highway. I immediately called my boss who yelled at me for, I guess being irresponsible. 

Now a man in an F150 drove up to my car and asked if I ran out of gas. I told him yes and he asked me to get in his car. At this point I was thinking, nothing could get any worse right now, so sure. Why not? I should definitely get in this total stranger's car. He drives me passed three gas stations and pulls into a hotel parking lot. Fuck. This is it. Today is my last day alive. I am getting raped and my body is going to be tossed out to some gators. We walk inside and sit in the lobby when he goes, "I know this is creepy, but I actually own this hotel." Yea dude, just got super creepy. Now no one will find my body! He assures me his son is coming down stairs to help me out and thankfully for me, that was the truth. His son takes me to a gas station with a gas can in tow and fills my car up and refuses to let me pay. Whew! Definitely dodged a bullet there!

The story doesn't stop there. The next week, I took my parents BMW because I refused to have the same situation occur again. One day I woke up with the hugest headache. I went to the bathroom to splash water on my face when I saw it and gasped. 

Actually after the epi-shot. I don't have a real before picture as I was concerned about oh you know, dying.

My face was swollen and I could only assume that I got bit by an ant because I am allergic to their bites. My boyfriend offered to drive me to the hospital, but my hard headed, independent self refused and went on my own. I drove straight to the military base because I was on Tri-care. After waiting in the morning line to get onto Barksdale, I made it over to the hospital just to find out that they don't have an emergency room. The ER was only used for real emergencies. I yelled at the nurse about my allergy, but she still shoed me away. Here I was...in a town I didn't know that well, driving around with one eye in my parents luxury vehicle. I turned on my hazards and sped off to find a hospital with an actual ER somewhere. 

I was frustrated and in a lot of pain. To make matters worse, no one respected my hazard lights! I FINALLY get to a hospital futher than I probably needed to go and couldnt find a damn parking spot. I pulled up in front of the doors where a man was cutting the hedges. I politely asked him if there were a closer parking spot than across the busy street. He condescendingly asked me if I were to pretty to cross the street and that it wasn't that far of a walk. Ok. Now I'm pissed. I threw off my sunglasses and yelled, "I only have one fucking eye and it is dangerous for me to cross the street right now!" Appalled by my swollen face, he told me to leave the car right there. 

I did as I was told and walked into an empty ER waiting room. The only person there was an old blind guy and his stick. I waited what felt like an eternity for someone to show up at the check in window and no one did. Pissed, per usual, I walked into the hospital halls and searched for someone who could help me. I found a guy in a white coat, took off my sunglasses, and explained my situation. He immediately rushed someone over to the ER to check me in. Now, as the blind guy was there before me he went first. I was seen a few minutes later where I was stabbed with an epi-pen after the doc heard wheezing in my breath sounds. 

Some prednisone steroids and benadryl later, I was feeling back to my old self and the day was finally saved!

So you see...randomness has always followed me, but I have had an amazing life regardless of all the "ridiculousness" that occurs and for that I am thankful!

Someone Told Me Pictures Are Worth 1000 Words

Im slacking in the blog department. Mostly because I am so freaking tired.
Clinic you are draining me
and killing my adrenals.
Seriously.

Before I go back on my weekly bloggery here is what has been going on:

• Clinic camp - I went away for a whole 24hours to a Christian Camp in the middle of no where so I could get to know my "pod mates" (a group of classmates assigned to one area of the clinic) better as well as get to know my Staff doctors. 

Oh you were wondering how this went? 

Ummm It started at 545 am

We had to do like an obstacle course where we climbed up telephone poles, sweat, used critical thinking skills to finish challenges, sweat, swing on ropes, sweat, let out our deepest emotions, cried, sweat some more, and used cheerleading skills to get people over walls.

 

All in all it was a good experience, but I was so glad to be back home in my own bed and away from people that want to hug me every five seconds. I hate being touched. 

• Working in the clinic. You know? Adjusting people. It's been awesome, mostly because this is what I absolutely LOVE to do!

Yea, I know. All these are BAD examples of what actually gets done in clinic. 

• Stressing out about Part II and PT Board scores. (I PASSED!!!!)

• Singing Karaoke

• Tweeting randomness. I have a Twitter! Follow me @dimepiece337

• Watching people sky dive from space

• Painting shit

• Going to concerts

• Dressing Up

Yes, that is Lil Wayne

• And living my awesome sometimes ridiculous life!

Canadian Bacon

Happy Thanksgiving Canada. Way to steal the shine from Christopher Columbus. 

As you may remember, I have my own personal Canadian. Also, if your mind serves you correctly, you know that Canada is weird.

Well in order to segregate themselves even further, they celebrate their own Thanksgiving. What the hell? At least get a different name. 

Today as we celebrate Columbus day, Canadians are breaking out the Canadian bacon giving thanks for the land not freezing over and killing all the crops. 

Actually, I don't know why they really celebrate Thanksgiving and they obviously don't learn that in school because my Canadian had to wiki that shit. So here are some interesting facts about Thanksgiving in Canada via wikipedia:

• Similar to the United States, traditions such as parades and football (which is not real football) can be a part of Canadian Thanksgiving
• Canadian Thanksgiving coincides with the U.S. observance of Columbus Day and has done so since the United States implemented the Uniform Monday Holiday Act in 1971
• The first Thanksgiving Day  was observed as a civic holiday on April 5, 1872, to celebrate the recovery of  King Edward VII (who was the prince at the time) from a serious illness.
• In its early years it was for celebrated for an abundant harvest 
• The first Thanksgiving in Canada was celebrated 43 years before the pilgrims landed in Plymouth, Massachusetts

Names I suggest Canadians use for Thanksgiving:

1. Harvest day <-- because that makes the most sense
2. Thank God it Hasn't Snowed Yet So We Can Eat This Winter day 
3. Pilgrims and Indians are Child's Play day
4. Snow Kills Crops, but Not This Year day 
5. Plymouth Rock Deez Nuts day
6. Earth's Bounty day
7. Fuck Christopher Columbus day
8. Canadian Bacon day <--- because 'Turkey day' is OUR thing
9. Let's One Up The American's by Celebrating Thanksgiving First day

Your ass just got educated and you're welcome. Happy Thanksgiving day Canada. I hope you don't freeze you're asses off like I did this weekend, though it's inevitable that you will. Enjoy your Canadian bacon, Mac&Cheese, and Canadian beer. 

Tomorrow I plan on celebrating Leif Erickson Day since the Canadians stole Columbus' thunder. It sounds like a better idea anyway. Plus, I imagine Leif looking like Chris Hemsworth. Now that is something to celebrate. 

Leif Erikson day never looked so good.

Happy Thanksgiving Yall!

Outside Looking In

Lately I have been CRAZY! I've been stressed out to the max with financial constraints, testing for clinic, studying for boards, going to seminars, and ahhhh! So needless to say that I lost my mind...and my car keys for the day. Molly picked Kiwi and I up because Kiwi had a hair appointment and Molly had an appointment at the Genius bar at the Apple store. While waiting on some customer service at the Apple store, we decide to google how to break into a car and found a video on Youtube. It took the guy less than 2 minutes. Simple enough right? Less than 2 minutes! We can do this!!! 

Well after a day of shopping, leaving Kiwi at Petsmart until 8:50pm and eating and drinking Mojitos at Cantina Laredo, we decide to break into my car.

Lessons learned:

1. Beer makes everything better
2. Lots of guys think they can break into your car 
3. Breaking into your car is harder than it looks on youtube 
4. No one will call the cops on you even if you have a coat hanger and stick it down a window 
5. The cops can't help you...not that they care 
6. You can use a string and a knot to unlock your car 
7. Molly and I don't know how to tie a good knot 
8. Slim Jims (not the food) are illegal to buy 
9. The fire department will break into your car as long as its before 11 
10. Honda was or is the most stolen car so they seal the window well (no rain in the car!).

Always a Bridesmaid...

Maybe I won’t get married, you know?  Maybe I’ll do one of those Eat Pray Love things….

Ugh.  No, I don’t wanna pray.  Forget it.

I'll Just die alone

- Mindy Kaling

This break has been nothing short of amazing and slightly stressful, not to mention it is going by too quickly! I need to catch you guys up on life as I have been slacking since I haven't had much to avoid lately. 

I went back to Shreveport the first few days of my break since my little Scarlett was turning one. In Korea the first birthday is a pretty big deal, so there was no way I would ever miss my niece's "you survived your first year on Earth" party. I also got to hang out with some old friends and it made me miss Shreveport a ton or maybe just the good company I was with. I'm not sure. Regardless, I realized that I need to make a decision on where I am going to set up shop soon because there is a world full of people that need my help and influence. 

Happy first birthday my blue-eyed princess! 

She kept wanting to get on the table to get adjusted. I think that is one smart 2 year old already knowing that her nervous system needs to be subluxation and interference free!

While I was away, Elle Woods and Molly went wedding invitation shopping. Molly's engagement photo shoot was coming up and Elle suggested that I "style" the outfits that Molly and JC should wear. Everyone knows I love fashion, and I definitely have my own style; I was super excited to take the sweatpants and t-shirt wearing girl, into the fashionable counterpart of a very Southern gent. 

Sorry. I have yet to fully introduce my lovely girlfriend to you all. Yes, you saw us eat popcorn on my bed and scroll the internet at 3 am after the bar, but you know little about this love of mine.

Facts about Molly:

• She is from Homestead, Fl. Never heard of it? Just travel an hour south of Miami....yea, I thought Miami was the most south you could go in Florida too. 
• She used to be an amazing dancer (not the kind with a pole guys). Even though she may not know how to drop it like it's hot, she is a dream to dress in clothes because most everything looks good on her.
• She is home-schooled. Though she may be smarter than the rest of us public school kids, her knowledge in pop music sucks. 
• She loves to sleep. I have never met anyone that could sleep until 2 in the afternoon until I met this girl.
• She is always late. Reference bullet above. 

Now that you actually know Molly, I feel like we can move on with this post. She asked me not too long ago to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming December wedding. Of course I said yes because my identity depends on being a bridesmaid...again. Since she is a laid back kind of girl, she is letting us pick our own dresses as long as they are navy and having us wear cowboy boots. Awesome? I think so! I have no qualms about being a bridesmaid for this bride because her ability to become a bridezilla is slim to none. 

Thursday was the day of the shoot and I had been doing nothing all morning. I was getting ready to go to my appointment to get adjusted when Molly tells me that she was picking props up for her shoot at 5:30pm in Mckinney. It was 2:30pm. Why was she running around picking up props at 2:30 the DAY OF her photoshoot? Because she didn't wake up until 2 O'clock of course. She asked if I could help her with a project before the shoot and insisted I not skip my appointment to help her. I left Parker's student clinc at 3:45 and although I don't regret going to my appointment, I regret going to my appointment. 

I get there and the girl is NOT dressed, has on NO make-up, and is JUST finishing straightening her hair. Great. We have 45, an hour at the latest to be out of the house. She puts me to work cutting up brulap in to triangles and stapling them to a string to make a thank you sign (I assumed this was a Pinterst find). I also needed to paint the words thank you in blue paint. Hmmm...45 minutes...let's go! 

Needless to say the project wasn't finished in 45 minutes nor was Molly ready. We scramble around like crazy people because we realize that JC's car is at Logan's and Molly's car is inoperable. Ergh. We had so many things to pack up so I say that we take my car just for the sake of being on time for once. Everything gets thrown in the car and I am sitting in my own back seat with balloons and other props, burlap and some paint. We make our trek to Mckinney as I stupidly paint burlap in the back seat with my favorite dress on that I have only worn once prior to this. You see where this is going right? Yea...blue paint on my orange dress...go Broncos!

After I finish whining about my dress, I complete the sign and push it aside. Molly takes a crazy turn and the sign and residual wet paint get on me. Le sigh. The photo shoot went well however despite the mosquitos, the stickers (the ones that come off of plants), heat, and our being late (she is going to be late to her own funeral). She thanked me with a steak dinner and a lot of I love yous, so I couldn't be too mad. It all comes with bridesmaid territory, especially when you are the only bridesmaid in state during an event. When and if I ever get married, all my friends that I have been a bridesmaid from have another thing coming. It's called payback!

And this girl thinks she doesn't look good in yellow. Pah! Crazy!

My friend Amber and I had a chit chat about all this getting married vs. being single thing. After great debate have settled with the idea that we may just be alone with each other and our cats that will have out survived our beloved dogs. We have decided that we will be in the club in our 90s yelling, "that's my shit!" when Back that Ass up comes on and droppin' it like its hot with our wrinkled behinds. Well...I won't be wrinkled she says because I will always have good skin since I am half black and asian. She said that she will be wrinkled with leather skin though because "white people don't wear sunscreen." Oh man I love that girl!

Before I forget! I watched a new show today that stars Mindy Kaling (chick from The Office) called The Mindy Project. I think it may become my new favorite show since Private Practice is ending this season. I know that I will become an Addison Montgomery one day, but Mindy is the Diamond of her 20's and I love it! I'm sure she too is always a bridesmaid. 

My CDs are in his Truck!

"Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason why women are crazy is because men are stupid." - George Carlin 

I know that I have clarified this subject once in Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid post, but I feel like with all the stupidity I have seen, I need to REclarify. Ladies, we need to do better. Men...well what can I say for men. A lot of curse words come to mind. 

So I have this friend, he...he has been mentioned before. He was the yang to Elle Wood's yin in her cray cray relationSHIT (reference The More Boys I Meet the More I Love My Dog). He is a good guy deep down inside. I just know it. I mean, I'm a bitch to him most days because it's funny, and yet he still shows up to my birthday party with no complaints and does me favors. A guy like that can't be all bad. He however, SUCKS at relationships. I think it's because he's immature in that department...or immature all together. I know, you are ready for the point of this tale, so here goes...

Let me introduce to you my friend, Douche-bag Dick Damien Ahh...Yes, Damien the Douche (thanks Elle). So, he for some reason is the cream of the fucking crop with the ladies around these parts. I mean, when trying to hook up another friend with a pretty girl at our school one must first ask, "has she hooked up with Damien the Douche?" 99.99% of the time the answer is yes. This statistic really baffles me. Boggles my freakin' mind! Maybe it's because he isn't my type. I can't figure out what it is. Whatever is in his pants must be able to do magic, because it just doesn't make any sense to me. 

So, his current situation is with these two gorgeous girls. We will call them Jailbait and Naive. I really like them both. My only issue with Jailbait is the obvious. I mean she's 18 as of a couple weeks ago, but as we are to be doctors in a year, I feel like we should be dating people that can actually come out and drink with us at a bar. Plus, I was 18 once. Life changes quickly. The last thing this chick needs to do is be tied down to a douche. As for Naive, well that is the thing. He can walk all over her. That doesn't make for a healthy relationship, but no one listens to me so, whatever. 

He was is was dating them both. Well he was dating like 4 girls. All of them brunette and all of them with the same letter first name. Oh! And lying to all of them about every damn thing he could. I told you...douche. Now, I don't have a problem with dating multiple people. I encourage it for young people. I however, don't condone sexing multiple people at a time or making them believe that you are exclusively dating them. Put your cards out on the table: Hey I like you and I think your fun to hang out with, but I am seeing other people and I am not ready to be in a relationship. Guys, I know you think that honesty is a sin, but trust me...you would date less crazy people if you were just honest up front. 

He narrows it down to two girls and is friends with both on Facebook, but has his privacy setting so neither finds out about each other. <--- Professional douche. We (his roommates and I) are all in on this. Let me tell you, it is hard to keep up when both girls names (actually all 4 of them) start with the same letter...I had to remind myself who Jailbait was every 30 minutes at my birthday party just so I wouldn't say the wrong name. After a lot of coaxing from us, he breaks down and tells the girls about each other. I got to witness part of the aftermath with jailbait, but this didn't change their minds about Damien the Douche. They still came over to see him...and do other stuff knowing that the other girls was doing the same.

He knows that he needs to just choose, because these girls were now starting to fall for him. And he...well he "says" he is falling for the two of them. He can't just let one go because "he can't deal with hurting one." So tensions raise as he continues to date...and er...yea...both girls. He then...this was the killer, tells Jailbait that she is not the one. That he wanted to be with Naive. So he pulls a Trey Songz "Last Time". Fast forward (later that day) to 9pm. 

I hear Damien and a girl come in. I say hey to Damien and look at the doorway and see a brunette girl with her face away from me. I assume it is Jailbait because it's her 18th birthday (and she was just there that morning) and say hello to her also. The face then turns around and says, "wrong one." DOH! I get the evil eye from Damien and vow to never say a name without seeing a face. 

Now the next time I am over there studying, he comes in with a girl and goes straight to his room. There is some arguing going on, but we all ignore it. Finally there is a "don't touch me" and a slam of a door. He comes out of the room after her and I say, "dude, leave her alone, I will go talk to her." At this point, I know it's a crying Naive, and I go over to try and talk sense into her. No haps. She tells me that she saw him texting Jailbait lies about where he was when he was with her. WTF?! She finally calms down and returns in the house to stay the night. 

Later and the next day I yell at Damien for his stupidity. For dragging two girls hearts around and giving them a complex. He truly fucked up this entire situation. Even if he decides to ever have a relationshit with one (which he has now decided should be Jailbait), the trust has already been abused. They're gonna be crazy, wondering where he is, who he is texting, if he is telling the truth...etc! He says that he would be cool with that, but for how long dude?? That would get ANNOYING! Then he would regret picking one and would want to be with the other because that would have been the right choice. Nope! She would have just done the same damn thing. 

Come on Guys? You don't see how YOU make US crazy?! Now these girls will have issues trusting the next guy because of all the BS they went through with all the Douche-bag Damiens in the world! Oh but ladies don't think you get off easy. They only do this shit because YOU LET THEM do this shit! If I was either one of these girls and knew one of them just stayed the night the night before me, I would be 
O. 
double U. 
T. 
OUT! You wanna know why? Because I have self respect. I have self-esteem. And I fucking LOVE myself!

I know what I deserve. And it ain't no two timing, lying, can't make up his mind, tanning too much, PRICK! Stop making excuses to stay with this dude. You can't change him, and if he says he is gonna change, well honey you better be patient 'cause change it ain't gonna happen over night. 

How dare I just go there and say you don't love yourself or have any self respect and esteem? Well girls, actions speak louder than words. There is an old saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" If you are going to let this dude mess with you knowing he is messing with another girl, then you had issues of your own before this guy ever screwed with your head. We need to have a come to Jesus pow wow. He is never going to think you are worthy of a relationship if you don't think you are worthy of a relationship. Lay down some laws sister. Why would he ever want to settle down with you alone if YOU let him think it is OK to be with you AND someone else?! Chew on that. 

The best part about all this is after everything...BOTH of them are still around. If I was Damien, I would get tired of defending myself and arguing with these bitches. He needs to let both of them go, or they both need to drop him like a hot potato. Funny man Dane Cook spoke of these kind of girls before...Enjoy the video and learn a lesson from this post and grow some balls a vagina!

If said girls would enjoy pay back: Click here!

Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture

Ok, so if you saw my Facebook statuses a few weeks ago, I promised everyone that I would "shake it" if my friend Vestal won the student senate election as president at our school. Plus, I was a little upset that the Jason Aldean Luke Bryan concert sold out in 5 minutes meaning I couldn't shake it for good ol' Luke. Well my very dear friend won president, =/ So I had to keep my end of the bargain. I've debated on whether I should really post my congratulatory video, but after a lot of coercing from friends, you now have entertainment. 

Now, before you push play there are some important things you need to know. 

A.) The original video is of a girl dancing to whooty...that new word I introduced to you a couple of weeks ago. (if you still don't know, youtube the video after this)
B.) This is a joke. A spoof of the Whooty video
C.) Yes those are cowboy boots
D.) Tara, this post means that I obviously love you...**SIGH**

Straight up Tom-foolery right? I'm pretty sure you weren't even watching me as more distracting things were happening. That chick can do some amazing things with her bum!

Thanks to my Am bam for helping me make this video and laughing the ENTIRE time I was shooting. 

A Southern Belle Rant

Things I miss about my life in Louisiana

• Daiquiris
• Drive through daiquiris
• Driving while drinking daiquiris

They key is to drink the daiquiri and wipe off the straw and put it back under the tape. 

• Partying until 6 a.m. 
• My friends

• Being able to say the F word in every other sentence without anyone judging me
• Being able to wear skimpy clothing without anyone judging me
• Meeting new people and them not judging me
• Not being judged period 

I call this masterpiece, dead frog on tennis ball

• Having intelligent conversations everyday with intelligent people 

So I went home on the weekend. Home becomes a really confusing word. Most people mean it as where they are from. And yes, my mother's house in Leesville will always be my home. But you know the saying "home is where the heart is"? Well, I left my heart in Shreveport. So to me Louisiana is just home in general.

I spent 5 years in Shreveport growing up into the woman I am now. A lot of maturing occurred there. I lived on my own, made friends on my own, and even voted in that duration. How could I not have an attachment to that place? Luckily this time our drunken nights left us with just mundane stories. No bones were broken in the process.

I, however, did get to wear my sparkly see through panty hose as our theme for the night was porn star. Don't judge me. No one else did. 

Porn star hair...check

Porn star make-up...check

Porn star dress and pimp...check

Now on to bigger and more important things. Chik-fil-a...

Oh. You wanted me to say something about it? I feel like the rest of the world has done that for me. Who gives a fuck if chik-fil-a supports gay marriage or not? Their milkshakes are awesome! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and eating there doesn't make you a homophobe. I'm a Christian, support gay marriage and love the fuck out of some Chik-fil-a. 

Get your panties out of a bunch and drink a bud light. It doesn't hurt you for them to be gay and it doesn't hurt you for them to be married. Focus on something else like crazy ass people shooting up movie theaters. Im. Just. Saying. 

Ok...now on to this Gabby Douglas chick. She is awesome. I wanna piss my pants with excitement when I see her perform. Are people really talking about her hair? Hello! Her hair is NOT naturally straight. We have talked about this on a previous blog! If you have curly hair, straighten it, then sweat, it's going to look like shit. Why are we worried about a 16 year olds hair? She won a fucking gold medal. So until you work your ass off and win a gold medal with perfect hair, shut the hell up.

Next topic: Kim Kardashian...

Bitch is insecure.

I am so tired of her making the news because she tweeted a photo of herself in a bikini and the caption of, "no photoshop". Bitch I take bikini pictures all the time and don't photoshop, no one cares. We have already seen you naked with no photoshop having sex with Ray J...with no photoshop. I get it. You are a beautiful girl. Cover your tits up sometime. 

Hey Kim! I wear bikinis too! Oh and my hair looks like crap after it is all wet from the lake...go figure. 

Alright. My ranting is done. If there is anything else you would like me to rant about leave me a comment. Other than that I am going to call it an early night and hit the sack!

P.s. Someone buy me one of these!

How to Hula Hoop

A video has been long overdue. I keep getting ideas and trashing them, or just half way getting through a project. Today's video however, was completely impromptu. We had a patient management exam today and an hour before, we found ourselves shooting a video on my phone. I mean, if we didn't know the information, we weren't going to know it in an hour right? 

Facts:

• Being a doctor doesn't always have to be so serious
• Black people make songs about anything
• We (Steph does anyway) know how to hula hoop
• Exercise is good for you
• Steph is a whooty

Guilty Pleasure Monday

Guilty Pleasure: something one enjoys and considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. The "guilt" involved is sometimes simply fear of others discovering one's lowbrow or otherwise embarrassing tastes.
-Wikipedia


Ok, everyone has a guilty pleasure. If you say you don't, then I hope you don't believe that lying sends you to hell...because that is where you would be going. 


My guilty pleasure this week is a song...actually the musical artist that sings that song. You can already figure it out from here, but I like to elaborate. So I am sitting in my car with the windows down rocking my new Oakley Frogskins. I'm feeling great because the weather isn't terribly hot, my hair is a new color and I am a year older. Nothing could make this day better. Then I hear it. That song that I love so much on the radio. Winning!


I turn the song up and recognizing that I was emabarrased of myself, rolled my windows up, and turned on the AC. I sing the words as loud as I can bobbing my head to the beat. I pull up to the red light and look over to my left at the guy stopped beside me. Silver Benz and all kinds of sexy. I immediately stop bobbing my head and try to look cool. Thank God, I have some cool sunglasses, because the 98 Honda Accord was no help at all. 


For some reason though, I can't stop singing the song. It has some kind of a hold on me. I just love it so much! Instead of screaming the song (in my attempts for sexy silver benz man not to hear my "singing") I do a whispered version of the song. God, I hope he can't read my lips. The light turns green and I let him zoom off. What was I thinking? Was I hoping to make a love connection at the stop light?! Psssh. I turn my music back up and start singing again.


It's one of those even when it's over you keep singing it no matter what the next song on the radio is. That is of course what I did. Then I went home and played it on repeat. =/


Well here it is...the guilty pleasure of the week:

Justin Bieber's Boyfriend

I hate to even admit that I have a little bit of the Bieber fever, but rest assured that I will take some Motrin for that. There is nothing attractive about this 18 year old that sounds like he hasn't hit puberty yet. In fact, he looks more like some lesbians I know than a man. I could see being attracted to him if I liked girls. Unfortunately, I don't, but I am attracted to his girlfriend Selena Gomez. How that even happened still gives me a mind explosion. 

I try to only like one Canadian thing a week, but it looks like it is going to be a tie between my personal Canadian and the Biebs. Thanks Biebs for making such a great song for me to jam out to even though I am slightly embarrassed.