Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid

We meet again weekend!! This time my anxiety ridden dog came home with me. Her anxiety gives me anxiety. She hyperventilates the entire 5 hours while cute little Max is passed out in the backseat. I guess I would be anxious too, if my adopted sister "Papaya the Evil Cat" bitch slapped me this morning. 

Papaya was chillin in the window when one of her "friend's" came over to see how she has been since their escapade. I guess Kiwi didn't like that; And I feel her pain. While Kiwi and I were worried sick about Papaya's well being, that damn cat was gallivanting around in the neighborhood like she had no family. So when the kitty comrade came over to visit at the window, my puppy acted like a psychopath and almost broke through the glass to get him. In turn, Papaya got pissed at Kiwi for running off her homie and bitch slapped Kiwi with her pimp paw.                                                                               

10 seconds before the bitch slap.

Wake me up when we get there. 

I've been Facebook stalking a lot lately because the only things in Leesville there are to do is Facebook, Pinterest, study, cook/bake pins, and sleep. (I'm not sure about the grammar in that sentence) I noticed there are a lot of women out there that are angry at their man/ ex-man for cheating. That's absolutely fantastic with me since I am on a anything with a penis hating spree. Where I have a problem is when the dumb ass gets back with said cheating man and is pissed^10 at the "other woman". Where they do that at??? 

Take my situation for example. 

1. Did the girl know about me --- yes. 
2. Is that F'd up --- absolutely

But that girl was not toying with my emotions, sharing my money (or was she), eating my food and living under my roof. I was not invested in the hussy. So am I mad at the girl?? No, not really. You gotta "get in where you fit in". If you are a home wrecking slut, who am I to judge on your calling to be a Jezabel? I mean that is biblical. I'm not gonna mess with that shit. If you are genetically predispositioned to be an informal tart, more power to ya, go one with your bad self!

Whores come in all shapes, sizes, and class status. She can be a grammy winning artist with everything in the world and still want YOUR man.  

I have had several men message me and say that it is fucked up that I put my ex "on blast". But I figure, if he is going around telling everyone that I'm a crazy bitch, people need to know the reason why. So here is what you have been waiting for folks...the all telling text messages from the harlot that we call X-tina. 

So exciting right??

Taking deep breaths at this moment...

Tired of waiting??

Yes, I feel like a psychopathic crazy bitch sometimes. I have all of these messages memorized because I have read them over and over trying to piece everything together in my mind. I also still have these messages in my phone just incase I need to defend my crazy bitch-ness. So I will verbatim  type these out for you guys...with commentary of course! Warning!! Her text messages get kind of graphic, so if you feel like that is TMI just scroll to the bottom of this blog!!

Exhibit A

(757): Don't Worry, he'll be good. I'll continue to take care of him. - cristina

Sat, Dec 3, 2011, 6:49 AM

Me: Are you kidding me right now?

(757): No

Me: Why do you even have my number?

(757): Just in case..because he said u was dumb crazy.

When I saw this bitches name, I already knew who she was. She used to be all over his Facebook page that we used to argue about. And really?? I am about to be a doctor. Please use English. I don't understand your ebonics. 

Me: But I was worried that he wouldn't have anywhere to go or have anyone here. Had you let me know that you were going to be taking care of him earlier, I would have done this weeks ago. 

(757): We can not move into our apt yet...and the semester didnt end here yet. But we been flying back n forth seeing each other, i just left there 2 weeks ago. I dont think he lead u  on for any other reason than just for a place to stay fro the time being. I mean he did say he doesnt even touch u and hasnt had sex with you in months. 

Ok...so to spare you all the intimacies of my relationship I will say this, who lives with someone in a one bedroom apartment and shares the same bed, but is NOT sleeping with them? I need her to get a brain of her own. 

(757): Lol ok..he said it sucks. And when ya'll used to do it ..he would have to think about me to get his dick hard.

^^ I guess that makes it ok that YOUR man is sleeping with someone else as long as he thinks about you?? Bless your heart. You were made for him. 

(757): He said he cant even remember the last time, because u cant even turn him on. Lol btw he proposed not to long ago. We've planned our 2nd baby. 

I told her that he was lying to the both of us...she was being delusional. And the second baby thing...from what I hear she used to run around saying she was pregnant by dude. So I guess this baby would be their second one. *shrugs shoulders*

(757): I know hes been lying to u..everybody does, even his mom. She been knew aboutme and him..and our plans. But as far as ya'll messin around, i highly doubt it.

This is the point where I text message his mom these messages because when I talked to her on Wednesday, she was appalled to find out her son was cheating on me. And she is stupid. His mom knew about me. Were from the same damn town, I went to his house all the time and talked with her, helped her out with stuff, and she sent me a gift for my birthday. 

(757): Also that..hes not attracted to u because u arent ligh skin, have no ass or boobs. And that u were always negative and annoying...just stuff he used to say.

Me: And as far as that other stuff...he knew that about me before he EVER decided to date me since he has known me since I was 15. So that's stupid  on his part to commit to me, and move to Dallas? I mean the stuff you're saying I already know. Am I supposed to just get insecure about it or something? This is me and there are an enormous amount of people that love me for ho I am...when I'm sweet, or a little fireball.

(757): He didnt have no where to go..he thought it was gonna be different. He called me everyday.

Me: It's not like I haven't been able to get a man...and more that that its not like I haven't been able to get a man who can actually take care of me and not use me.

(757):  Im just sayin he was basically using u for a place to stay until the BAH kicked in..thats all

Pause. (I know, I continued this conversation way too long with this girl. But if I didn't this would be less entertaining. You're welcome.) He moved like a million miles away from his kids because he just needed a place to stay? And obviously he was using me. Stop repeating yourself. I'm not an idiot!

(757): I know ya'll were together but he said ya'll didnt have sex SINCE oct. He came to va and stayed the weekend at my house. He brought 2 shot glasses..and when icamer there like 2 weeks ago we staed at the NYLO in Plano..he put candles everywhere, bought moscato and wine glasses, got baby oil and gave me a gull body massage everynight. And went to some mall i think it called northpark? He talked about how much u irritated him and how you would ask to have sex with him but he turned you down all the time. U can add me on fb if you want...Cristina *****

OK... So he was lying to her as much as he was lying to me. "I know y'all were together" can't even be mad. She has the anatomy of a slut and she wanted to use her God given ability I guess. And wasn't he supposed to be taking care of some business for his kids that weekend in Virginia? No good bastard. And those nights in Plano, he went to Arkansas with his home boy. So yup, she def has the dates right. She isn't lying. I got what I wanted, closure. And can we discuss the last line? You want me to add your bitch ass on Facebook? Where they do that at??

I have no reason to lie to this girl, but apparently she didn't believe me. She must have felt a little insecure about it because then she started forwarding me his text messages where he is denying everything.

FWD: I didn't fucking sleep with her today, What the fuck. I don't give a fuck what that bitch say. I gave u her number. If I wanted to keep u from talking to her I wouldn't have gave u her number. I want you and thats it. bitches come at me all day long. I turn them all down all I want is you. call that bitch and tell her everything fuck her feelings. from, pics to visits and everything...to you moving down here and all .

My experience is when a person gets that mad about being lied on, they AREN'T being lied on. Just saying. But I will say, he is good...and she is more vapid than me. So I am fully done with this conversation. I congratulate her and tell her "now you don't have to be a secret, your relationship can get better from here. I don't know what else you want me to say." But she still persists with non-pertinent information. "Its not nothing new, we were together when he was in va..we had an apt, but then i was going thru alot, so i broke it off and he had no where to go." <---weird because I seem to recall that he had some place to go, he cousins house, where I went to visit. I've got pictures. But that's all irrelevant now. 

Conclusion: If I am a crazy bitch, I have many a reason to be. And if I want to bash the bastard in Facebook statuses and blogs, he deserves it. All I can say is if he was cheating on me with some loose woman in Virginia, who was he cheating on the two of us with in Dallas? 

So ladies, don't get mad at the other women for they know not what they do. Its their calling. They can't help it. And finally...“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” - George Carlin