Leftovers

When you drive five hours every Friday and Sunday you have a lot to think about and a shit ton of radio to listen to. Justin Moore was doing an interview on the radio where he explained the inspiration to "Bait a Hook". (Please click that link to listen to this hilarious song if you haven't heard it yet!!) He said his inspiration was the obvious. You know, finding out your ex moved on...you compare yourself to the new significant other where you ALWAYS come out to be the better catch? Yea. He also went on to say that when a girl finds out her ex moved on, she Facebook stalks the new girl. Her and her girlfriends then talk shit about this girl calling her fat and ugly even if she "looks like Shania Twain". Damn it. Guilty!!! Though, for the record, I really do think that my exes downgrade. LOL

Guilty

Guilty again

Anyways, this got me to thinking...how in the HELL did I ever date these guys when they like "those" kind of girls. Obviously I was just way out of their league or something right? *Sigh* So then I started having a conversation with myself. A complete conversation. The kind where you answer your own questions conversation. But don't completely think I'm a psycho and start judging. I had Max the dog in the car with me. He was definitely listening. 

You caught me. He wasn't really listening

I started self therapy. I remembered that my bastard ex told me that I had no type. That all my boyfriends were absolutely completely different from one another and that THAT was a dangerous quality to have. I'd like to say that I have a type...but I'm also not too picky when it comes to physicality. If you are of the opposite sex and have one of the following, I'll probably be interested in dating you:

• Amazing tattoos <--everybody loves a bad boy.
• A gorgeous set of green eyes <-- I could look into green eyes forever.
• A hot accent <-- have you heard Gerard Butler talk? Gah...I could melt.
• NBA status tall <-- genetically this is great because I don't want short kids.
• A breathtaking smile <-- the kind that makes you blush and smile back.
• Incredible intelligence <-- I like to have conversations every now and then.
• An uncanny ability to dance <-- well then you know what else they're good at ;)
• Washboard abs <-- because I don't have a washer.

Self therapy remember? This is the time I realized, "Oh my God!! I don't have a type!!!" So I am FREAKING out as I'm driving on I-20 because I have no type. I'm fucking defective. Great. 

Ideally, my type would be a gorgeous foreign man with a great set of arms, green eyes, tan, and accent. Accent...really important. This would be the perfect man. But God doesn't make perfect people...except Jesus of course. Gosh, Jesus must have been HOT! So here I am with no type, unless you call douche bag a type. Even that isn't right though. I've dated a couple of good guys...but the demise of those was my fault and I'll take the blame. BLAME ME!!!

After picking Kiwi up and letting her be pissed that I brought her brother Max to Dallas for a 5 day trial run, I decided to turn on the tube and catch up on Private Practice while eating amazing left over steak, fries, and drinking a Bud Light. Then my new "type" popped up. Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Amell.

Episode 11...but episode 12 starts with his shirt off. I recommend that episode first.

I told Molly that I was in love with him, wanted to marry him and have lots of babies, mostly because that entails a lot of sex with him.

Best Part is, he doesn't have the qualities of the guy in my last blog. He needs no clothes. *whispers* He looks amazing naked.

So, I am pretty sure that I lost ALL my male readers. Well, my straight male readers. One because this blog wasn't as entertaining to read as my others and two because I have a picture of a half naked man on here. Sue me. 

So...What have learned here? My dog hates me for bringing another dog in our household. Oh, most importantly, I have no type and most men are fair game. I will probably end up like Addison on the show, successful doctor, single, with a barren uterus. For now I will indulge in my single life and enjoy the fact that I now have leftovers.