Online Dating Do's and Don'ts

Well, I told you guys I would do an online dating experience and even though I haven't went on a date with anyone on there, I can say that there are quite a few potentials. I have had a few friends tell me about online dating and have thought, eh I'm still young, I'll save that resource for later. But when I think about how much I am isolated from the real world due to the "Parker bubble", online dating sounded like a really good way to meet people in the area. So no, I didn't go into this thinking I was going to meet the love of my life or even find a date. I kind of just wanted to meet someone who wasn't a chiropractor or didn't go to Parker. 

When I joined OkCupid a few weeks ago I decided to do a little experimentation. The first day I decided to just fill out my profile with basic information and answer some of the questions that are supposed to help you find your match.

If you are the idiot that chose the Earth...do not even think about messaging me.

You can see how this question/ answer system can help you find your soulmate....hahaha! There were actually more relevant questions on the site. These were just a couple of my favorites.

So anyways, I answered a few of these questions, didn't put up a profile pic and called it a night. The next day I had a couple of messages. Interesting right? Some guys actually don't give a damn what you look like; some are actually interested in what your interests are. Go figure. 

I then took the next step in finding a decent and recent picture of myself and posted it on the site and the messages started to pour in a little faster. Next step: Close up. People wanted to know what you really look like, but there was no increase in the the rate of messages coming in with the face shot.

So then I put a full body pic up that shows off the only asset that I have...and viola! Money maker!! Messages out of the wazoo!! If ever you needed a self-esteem boost, go on an online dating site. You will have a billion people tell you how beautiful you are. The final step was to put the obnoxious bikini photo up and wouldn't you know it...guys stopped messaging! There are guys that actually think like me! When I see a man half naked on his online dating profile I think these things: obnoxious, conceited, selfish, and prick. 

My profile pictures on the site

My favorite obviously full of himself guy was a guy that had a profile pic of himself showing off his rock hard abs. When I went on to read his profile he answered the What do people notice about me question like this, "People usually say that I'm attractive, that's the first thing they notice most of the time but i only think i'm decent looking." 

^^Really? You only think you are decent looking, but you proudly show yourslef off in your profile pic? Ugh Prick.

My messages came from an assortment of men: tall, short, witty, annoying, nerdy and weird. Here is my advice for men who choose to online date:

• Do not make your profile pic a pic of you wearing a dragon mask (like not one of those cute chinese ones, like a komodo dragon mask -_-)
• If you are said person, do not send a message that says, "do you like dragons?" My answer will always be no.
• Do not make your profile name "nastylove". That only makes it sound like you have the clap.
• Do not send a message that says, "I am sorry to bother you, but do I look gay?" Ummmmm
• Do learn how to spell before sending someone a message. Decided has never been spelled decited. 
• Do not be in a relationship. I feel like that is self explanatory, but there is actually an option for that.
• Do not diss the town a girl is from before finding out where she is from...
• Do not keep asking a girl for her number after she told you no for the 3rd time.

I have had the most interesting time on this website and may continue it as a source of entertainment. There are a couple of successful men on there that I am currently messaging back and forth, so you never know what will happen. Soon, I would hope to conclude my experiment by going on a date with one of these fellas, just to see if this online dating crap is actually worth anyone's time. So until then there are your do's and don'ts....well your online dating do and don'ts. =)

Never Mess with an Angry Southern Belle

I have to get this off of my chest...WHY DO PEOPLE FUCK WITH ME?


Who the fuck has so much time that they sit in their home and make up complete lies? Like seriously did you really sit there and say, "hmmm I heard this...so I am going to say that Diamond told X and X told me and now she is going around telling Y and Z" ??


So my friend is going through a cray cray dramatic break up...worse than mine. Seriously. I have done nothing but be there for her the moment SHE called me and asked for my support. Now, when you are in a class of 55 and you are dating someone in the class...people are going to know when shit goes down. We are like a small town where everyone dies famous. Everyone "knows" everything about everyone. 


I knew when we got to school on Monday that things were going to spiral. Down hill. People were going to realize that the inseparable two were now separate and start questioning why. I don't know how the...what shall we call her?? The Deceiver found out "what happened", somehow, and her ass called up my friend and told my friend that I was the reason why she found out. 

Excuse me? Do I fucking talk to you? Are we fucking friends? Do I even talk to your friends????
The Deceiver has already been known to stir up drama and most importantly lie. (And she wonders why people don't like her. No, really, she contemplates this.) So this really isn't that surprising. The only shocking part is that she would use my name. Now when my friend called me and told me this, I was a little upset, but I had to realize that girl we were dealing with. I told my lovely friend that I did not say anything to anyone seeing as I only talk to 3 people in my class all of which are NOT the Deceiver's friend. Done. 


Nope. So the day spirals out of control and I make sure that my friend is o.k. by hanging out with her at her house and going to dinner. While at dinner our phones will NOT stop ringing. We kept ignoring the phone calls because FUCK we want to eat! So finally after the 5th phone call...no lie. I say, "you know what I am gonna just answer the phone. Be quiet and pretend you aren't here" So I call my last missed call back to hear something of the nature that I was going around saying A,B & C about the situation they are involved in. "Ummmmm No. Who told you that the Deceiver?" He says no, and I clear up the air with him and thanked him for coming straight to me about it. I respect that. A lot. 


Then I call one of my other phone calls back who says their name was brought into this also. I assure her that things would be cleared up and then I tell her what Deceiver was going around saying. What do you know...that is what her first phone call was about! The Deceiver told her that I was telling everyone "what happened", but it was cool because my friend was allowing me to. What? Shut the front door. Are you kidding me?


Now, the reason why I hadn't confronted her ass about this shit the first time is because my friend told me not to. She said that she had enough drama going on for me to say anything to that trifling girl. Bad idea. Had I just confronted her the first time, I might have been nice. For two people to come at me with this shit just fucking pisses me off. 


Some things you should know about me:

• I am not about the bullshit <-- I don't have the time
• I am not a liar <-- I can't keep a straight face to save my life, so I just avoid lying in general
• I have a horrible memory <-- that is why I am so good at keeping secrets
• I have no concern for any one else's problems <-- I am empathetic, but it doesn't concern me enough to tell anyone else about it
• I have a small circle of friends <-- I learned at an early age that you can't trust anyone
• I am confrontational <-- I just like to get shit out of the way
• I am real <-- there is no point in being fake, people always find out anyway

Today after our first class, I just can't hold that shit in anymore. I can't even look at the back of her head in front of me with out rage filling in my body. So I go up to her...yes, in front of the people left in our room (that way she can't lie about our confrontation) and confront the Deceiver. Basically, she just proves that she is a liar because she had nothing more to say than, "really?" and "you're a fucking bitch." <-- ugh, tell me something I don't already know about myself. 

I feel accomplished. This is shit that people wanted to say to her since we got here almost 2 years ago. People just need to learn to shut their fucking mouths and keep my name out of it. Unless you hear something directly from me, you can assume it is a lie. Bitches be trippin' and they always will. You just have to know how to deal with them. I choose to deal with mine "gracefully" Ha ha ha! Unless you want to feel butt hurt, remember never to mess with an angry Southern Belle. 

idatedthatdouche.com

Soccer hottie really wanted to talk about cheaters and post it on my blog...whatever. I really had nothing to talk about since my weekend was ruined by my car needing like $800 in repairs...UGH. That is another post. 


We are such losers because we have conversations with each other looking in a camera. They are such long conversations, I probably will have to post the second half of it when I'm in too much of a bad mood to type anything again! 


P.S. if you have an iPhone...you probably won't be able to play this video because I found out your phone doesn't have flash. What a stupid fucking phone. iPhones...psh...I conform to non-conform TEAM ANDROID!

------------------------------Video removed---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't get offended by what we say if you are the other woman...just re-evaluate your situation. This is just our opinions anyway. Oh and before people have a cow about being called a slut and stalking and bloody fucking blah...I found this cool website that makes my life. I'm like the Taylor Swift of blogging so remember if you cross me that you may get blogged about OR your face may end up on this website: idatedthatdouche.com

Kiss me I'm Blasian

Alright crazy kids!! I have a diagnostic imaging exam tomorrow so you know I had an insane urge to procrastinate and type. I don't know about you guys, but my St. Patrick's day was so cray cray. I have decided that I can't party with white people. It is so hard for me to keep up! Drinking from 10 a.m. to around 7 p.m. only eating a banana and a corn dog in the sun really makes your body say, "Diamond...I swear to God, you do this shit again and..."


Soccer hottie and I went to Lower Greenville together where it is apparently "cool" to party on this Irish holiday. She ended up hanging out with her friends at Stan's and I hung out with mine at RGBG's. Amongst all the other things I learned that day, I learned that we just have completely different friends. Her and her friends think it is inappropriate to show your boobs at Mardi Gras for some pretty plastic beads. My friends and I however, LOVE boobies!! You see how this could pose a problem when I'm a drunk bitch grabbing random girls boobs to see if they were real. Don't judge, those hookers let me!

Aaannnndddd her friends think it is cool to wear heels/wedges on an occasion like this. I thought it was dumb, but that is because I'm a giant. 

I almost ended up getting left though because soccer hottie was leaving the area filled with a shit ton of green shirts with one of her friends. Reasons why that would have been bad:

• We rode together
• Phone service SUCKED down there
• My phone was in her car
• We parked over a mile away
• Her number was the only number I had access to
• My phone was in her car!

You see all those people? That is the crowd I had to walk through to find my girlfriend only to find out she was about to leave me!

Now don't go around thinking that SH is a douche bag. She was drunk. I'm pretty sure that she ate less than I did. So her, her friend, and I are trekking through Lower Greenville trying to get to her car so I can get my phone when her friend suggest us taking a cab. This was a good idea because 3 drunk people walking over a mile through a green crowd sounded like a terrible one. We get in the cab and tell the cabby that we want to get to the car off Mockingbird and Greenville. Ugh, this is where it all went down.

SH's drunk ass thinks that she actually knows where the hell she is going so she argues with me on where the car actually is. I get on her phone to google map the area and show her where I believed the car was stationed, but she obviously knew without a shadow of a doubt, how to get there. Now Mr. Cab man has to drive half way around the world to get us to the area we wanted to be in because everything was barricaded off. I should have known this was going to be a problem because we had a straight shot walk down there and making turns in a cab felt like being in a shaken up snow globe. 

He gets us on our way to Mockingbird when SH decided to let him know that he was going the wrong way. I was following the little blue dot the ENTIRE time and told her that we were headed in the correct direction, but apparently she turned into the world's first human GPS. She literally had a debate with this dude in which he responds, "I am the driver! I know where I am going!" He gets so fed up with the back and forth that he politely...and I do mean politely kicks us out. He says, "this is as far as I can take you." Bull shit

So here we are, walking AGAIN and I am irate. SH and her friend are walking behind me and having a grand old time while I am stomping my way through the street thinking about how I could be to my phone right now had this girl just shut her mouth. So I made friends. Some black guys walking next to me were all, "say girl" and I waved my hand at them. I didn't have time. One of them says, "Oh, we aint tryin' to holla at you. We just wanna know if you got a cigarette." I said no and told them that I also needed one at that point (I don't smoke) and could go for a little ganja. And what do you know...these dudes have some in their pocket and start rolling it up as we are walking. Way to be a stereotype guys.

SH, her friend, and I stop at a food stand for food while my new "friends" went on their way doing their illegal business. That is when her friend has had enough of the walking and thinks we should try the cab again. Sigh. So we do and Ms. GPS gives directions; I let her this time. Just to prove to her that she was wrong and plus, I was not in the mood to dispute. After sending us on a wild goose chase, I politely give my instructions and Viola! We are at the car!!!

We get in, I get my phone and I am ready to drive us where ever they want to go when I hear, "I left my phone in the cab!" Really?! Really?! Is this happening right now?!! So I ask which way the cab went and start following that damn thing. In the mean time, SH is in the back seat bitching to me about how fucked up it is that I don't care about her phone and I only cared about mine. That we had to go all around the world to find my phone and I was not gonna go find hers. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Am I NOT trying to chase down a cab??!

So guess who has had enough of this day, stops the car in some random ass neighborhood, gets out and says, "fuck you!" Yep, if you guessed me you would be correct. I walked away through some barricades as I heard, "Diamond!!" slowly disappearing from my ears. Ahhh. Silence. I call Awesome Opossum, because duh, he is awesome and would definitely come save me, when I run into some people from a house party convincing me to go over to it. It was actually the perfect idea, because then he would have an address to get to instead of guesstimating where my enraged ass walked to. 

They looked safe: an overly happy black man and his woman friend holding a baby bottle

Yep, they offered me food and more alcohol and I gladly obliged. Made some new friends and waited for my ride to get there so I could vent. That was my St. Patrick's day. It ended with sun still up, but hey...if anyone has ever partied with white people...you would know that I was EXHAUSTED. Next year, I will be prepared and have a shirt that says: Kiss me I'm Blasian!

[ P.s. Soccer hottie and I are over our fight. That is what friends do, get drunk, fight, and make up! If you and your friends don't do that you need to reevaluate your friendships ;) ]

The Average Man Doesn't Speed Date

As promised, here is the video of soccer hottie's speed dating adventure. And guess what??!!! I got to speed date too!!!! Enjoy our dialogue!!!

Guest starring Kiwi

Things I learned speed dating:

• There is at least 1 couple a year that gets married from speed dating
• There are currently 7 engagements from speed dating
• There are repeat offenders
• Speed dating has a high correlation with anxiety attacks
• The US average of men being 5'10 is true
• The average man doesn't speed date

Live the Life You've Dreamed

Ahhhhh over 5000 views on my blog and now I am getting shout outs on Google+...HOLLA!! I Can't even believe that people like this shit. Really...like everyone I run into says that they hate to read, but so many people come on here just to read my silly little ramblings. It would just be easier if MTV called me and said, "Diamond, we are tired of fucking reading your shit. No one does that any more. You need a TV show. Laguna beach style minus all the blonde chicks." I mean I did live in Shreveport for 5 years and they seem to be taking over the reality TV realm right now. At least I would actually make the town look good...Ok, I take that back. I would make it seem like there were some slightly educated people there. A girl can dream right??


So I have deprived you of my maundering for an entire week. I suck. I know. It's really funny because I have had all the free time in the world this week. I guess I only blog when I am trying to avoid studying, laundry, cleaning, or anything that involves getting my ass up off of the couch. So here I am forcing myself to do laundry so I can devote 30 minutes of my time to writing this post.


Are you ready for some major disappointment? I won't be going speed dating tomorrow. I know. It brought a tear to my eye. I procrastinated too long in signing up. There was actually a wait list for this shit! I couldn't believe it. People seriously do the craziest things to find love. I seriously have yet to come across a married couple that said they met each other speed dating, but I guess there are people that are way more optimistic than I am. Soccer hottie will still be going tomorrow and may have a video to present if I act right and bring my camera when I accompany her for drinks. I'll link you guys to her blog so you can hear/see everything that happened!! I won't leave you guys empty handed though. Remember 40 year old virgin?? Well for those of you who are like me and lack in long term movie memory, here is the clip:

It was suggested that soccer hottie and I do that tomorrow. So I guess that is my "what I would have done" video


So exactly what have I been doing you ask? That is easy to answer. Absolutely nothing. Relaxing and catching up with friends. Well I am catching up with them...they are all caught up with my life since I publicly display it in writing every week. Every one is always so disgusted with old what's his name? and can't believe I didn't know what a dog he was. Here is the problem...I knew. I am not even gonna lie here. I need to send out an apology to someone that I really care about who obviously cares about me. He tried to warn me, but all I did was yell about making my own mistakes and that everything eventually would come to the light and I did not need him being the light. UGH.

And by doing nothing, I mean laying by the pool

I got a phone call one evening from a 254 number and knew it could only be two people. A guy or a girl. I knew there was no way that it could be the girl because it had already been established that she was no longer speaking to me when she deleted me twice on Facebook for being with this dick wad. I answer and the man on the other line asks if I was around old boy. I told him yes (we lived in a 714 sq ft apartment. There wasn't too many places to go to NOT be around each other....unless you find yourself in a tramps arms) So he told me to call him back when I wasn't. Ummmm because that isn't weird?? I told the asshole what my friend our friend (we all went to school together) said and he told me to call him back because he was interested in what he was so secretive that he didn't need to be there.


I did. And dude said that my stupid ass boyfriend was cheating on me...or tried to cheat on me. Confused? I was too. Like what does that really mean?? He told me that one of his friends out in 254 called him and let him know that the dog I was living with (and I don't mean Kiwi) called her when I was on vacation with Elle Woods in Florida. They apparently sent pictures to one another and he was trying to get her to come up to Dallas by paying her way and having her stay at our apartment! I was so appalled by this. Like refused to believe it. He said, "Diamond, how else did I know you were in Florida?!" Well that wasn't proof enough. We were Facebook friends. Everyone knew Elle Woods and I were in Florida! So he calls her on three way.

At Epcott during a Florida Hurricane. Be jealous.

I hear her say how she feels bad for me because I had no clue what was going on. That she didn't tell me because she didn't feel like it was her place since we weren't really friends. We were just Facebook friends. And I was the one that added her on Facebook. WOW. I was pretty damn angry. And instead of taking leaving all my anger for the douche bag I lived with, I let my friend have it! I was having a good day that day until he called. Everything was going right, and now I had a seed planted in my head about my cheating ass man. I told him to leave me alone, not to call me with that shit anymore, and if it were true, I would eventually find out.


This is when I think back and say, "why am I not the snooping kind of girlfriend?" I always thought snooping around was bad because you ALWAYS find something. I should have done it though. It would have saved me a lot of time. Anyways, last words my friend told me was that I was gonna call him one day and apologize because he was right. UGH...here you go. You know who you are. You were right! I am sorry.


Oh yea, what did he tell me to convince me he didn't do anything. He said something about me knowing that he had no money to send a girl to Dallas. <-- HAHAHAHAHA So funny how my story ended up.


I am sad because George just wanted me to be taken care of before he moved on to the next life. The last person he ever knew me to be with was someone he ended up hating for what he did to me. It has been a month since he left this place. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, the love he gave me, and the time God allowed us to share. He did tell me a couple of weeks before he passed though, that I would find someone great, because I am great, and God will bless me! That is why I am not worried about boys and running off being a whore and hooking up with everyone because I am single now. I know my time will come when someone as equally awesome as I am will sweep me off my feet.  So until then I will continue to party my butt off and enjoy my life!!! Oh and one final thing before I deuce out. I joined www.okcupid.com. Just for shits and giggles. Watch out for my online dating do's and don'ts post coming soon!!!


"Live the life you've dreamed" - Henry David Thoreau

C'est La Vie

I just got off of the phone with the cutest Korean woman in the world and she knows how to put tears in my eyes. I want her to meet me in Shreveport this weekend so I could drop her dog back off to her. I love him and all but he was only supposed to be here to visit. She asked me if she could bring a friend with her  because she doesn't want to ride by herself. No problem right? She got super quiet on the phone. I said, "mom, what's wrong?" She started to cry and said, "I'm sad."

Dear Max, it's been real, but it is time for you to go home

Now, I have never seen my mother cry in my entire life until the last year. She is a strong woman. I've seen her be physically abused when I was a child and not once did she shed a tear. The first time I ever heard her cry was when she called to tell me George had cancer. Now, it just seems kind of normal. She said that she is trying to be strong, but she cries when she eats, when she looks at pictures, and when she sits in the car. That is why she needs someone to come with her. George and her used to drive to Shreveport to visit me all the time, and this time she would have to come alone.


I feel for my mother. I feel her hurt. I cry not only for myself, but for her too. I wish I could make it easier for her. And more than anything I wish I could be closer to her. I hate that she is alone. So I am planning a vacation for me and my mom. I need to start researching places to live, so why not actually go to those places and bring the person I love and am annoyed by the most?! I can't wait to give my absolutely ridiculous mother a hug and tell her it's going to be o.k. She is going to be o.k.

So anyway, last night I had my neighbor knock on my door. I've seen him around...well more than anything I've just seen him check the mail and walk his happy, chubby butt upstairs. Occasionally this guy would do his exercises by walking up and down the stairs several times. All I have ever known about this dude is that he works for the DART train because douche bag told me he did.


Apparently when the asshole I call my ex was "looking" for a job, he talked to our neighbor about working for DART. So they must have gotten to know each other. My neighbor showed me a picture of some crazy looking girl and asked me if I have ever seen her. I told him no, and she said something about the girl stalking him (hopefully he knows the definition of the word). He just figured I must have seen her around because I walk my dog all the time.


After telling him I have never seen his "stalker" in my entire life he wanted to have a conversation. Dude, it is like 8 p.m. and I am in a t-shirt with no bra on. He tells me his name (which I don't remember...I was too concerned with covering my boobs) and puts his hand out. I shake it and tell him mine thinking we were done. No. He says, "I should have introduced myself a long time ago, I'm sorry." I really could care less. I just wanted to go back inside. Then he says, "Where is your husband?? Amar?? Amad??" Did he go back in the service?" I smile. HUGE. Like First I thought it was funny that he assumed I wasn't just living in sin. Then I just looked at him and said, "Oh, your serious! I thought everyone around here knew. He lives with his pregnant girlfriend now." He says, "wait, ummm aren't you his...ummm are you ok?" I laughed and told him yes. Then the creep looked me up and down and said, "Well, he is stupid. His loss." Thanks Mr. Creepy Neighbor man. I appreciate it.


He is absolutely right and I know it, not to sound conceited or anything. Everyone ALWAYS knew I could do much better and if I really think about it, every guy I have ever dated before him was better. I just had a mental slip up and let myself make a dumb decision. So to follow all dumb decisions, I am going to make fun ones. Soccer hottie found out they are doing speed dating in Addison and guess who she wants to go with her?? Yes, that would be moi!


Reminder: speed dating is just for fun! No one ever said that they met their husband speed dating! I just want to go see who goes to these things and what they are all about. There is nothing wrong with meeting a bunch of lonely men. My friends remind me that I need to lie about my career because successful men don't like smart women. No one has to tell me that. That's why I date losers. I am actually reading a book about that now.

I've only read chapter 2 online and then my sweet Elle Woods bought me the book. It is an interesting read!

So it was suggested that I say I am a bus driver or something. I'm sure I will come up with something really good soon and I can't wait to let you know about it! You only live once!! I'm sure something absolutely bizarre will happen because that is my life. But what can you do?? C'est la vie!!

Ramblings of a Hung Over Southern Belle

Things I've learned this weekend:

• I can't parallel park drunk

• I still think I am a good driver when I'm drunk
• Drunk Skyping is fun
• I say dumb things on Skype when I am drunk. i.e. "My butt looks good so I wear sparkly pants."
• Soccer hottie STILL gets drunker than me
• We need a DD
• Guam is pretty at 6:00 p.m. 
• Air Force boys say dumb things on Skype
• Dallas has issues connecting with technology in Guam
• Changing a bad photo of myself to 1960's makes me look a little better

• I hate hanging out with a large group of couples
• I love hanging out with single people
• I drink a lot of beer
• I'm not as young as I once was
• Bingo is fun
• Brooms can stand on their own

• I should wash my face before passing out because my sheets are white
• I miss college
• I think I will reminisce about college with my college friends forever
• I like to talk about my boobs...or lack thereof 
• I think my bra is really pretty
• My animals love cuddling with soccer hottie

• My animals still end up taking over my bed in the middle of the night
• I can drink three days in a row
• It doesn't feel good to drink three days in a row
• I just need to stick to my couple of glasses of wine every day
• I need to go grocery shopping
• My debit card doesn't work if ran as credit
• My cat is a vampire

• Molly needs to meet soccer hottie
• I am better at deeply palpating when I am drunk
• I'd rather clean my house all day than study
• I think it is safe to drive on the interstate drunk
• I can never own a push to start car...I would never know where my keys were
• White girls say funny things to black girls. i.e. "My friend is coming to hang out. He's cute. He's a black guy."

• There are white men that will say racist things to white girls that hang out with black people. i.e. "If you hang out with black people you can hang out  by yourself"
• I don't remember half the things I said Saturday night
• Soccer hottie opens other people's mail when she is drunk
• Don't leave my mail around soccer hottie
• I love the song Hell On Hells by Pistol Annies

• Sitting and listening to my girlfriends talk about wedding stuff makes me want to drink more
• Coupled people don't understand why you would rather go home than to be the only single person watching coupled people be coupled
• I like the word coupled
• Curly hair loves the smell of cigarette smoke more than straight hair

• I love getting drunk dialed 
• People love to drunk dial me
• Prank calling is still fun

• My face looks fat when I take pictures

• Pictures don't justify how skinny I am
• I like to tell people how skinny I am now
• I love being a skinny bitch
• I like to deter nice guys from joining the Navy because I don't want them to be a douche bag
• I want a reality show
• I don't care about Snooki being pregnant
• I'm glad I am not pregnant
• I like to drink
• I can't wait for next weekend

The Party Never Ends

I have over 4000 views!!!! It has been an absolutely amazing experience to share my thoughts, views, activities, and life with you all. The drama is pretty darn entertaining, but it's really scary to just put it all out there for the world to read. That makes me think that bloggers are pretty darn brave to bare their souls to the world. I have to say that I am so grateful for all the positive responses that I have received from "letting it all out." People have been so sweet to me about losing George that the messages down right make me cry reading them! Everyone keeps talking about my strength to have gone through so much the past few months...I may be strong, but I think it is only because of the people that I have surrounded myself with and the grace of God.

A lot of you have asked how my mother is doing. I think she is doing pretty well for having just lost her husband. Of course things are hard, but she is taking the appropriate steps to move on with her life. I installed Skype on George's laptop so she could talk and see me when she was feeling blue. She has called a few times and I always see her cute little face sitting in my room. I don't think she is quite ready to sleep in their room again. She hasn't in months. But I am glad she is catching up on sleep. She said that is all she does, even when she doesn't think she is tired. I told her to sleep as much as she wants. She barely slept 3 hours a night when she was taking care of George; he wouldn't sleep since he was afraid that he would leave us if he did. Say a prayer for my mommy, Mrs. Washington tonight. I think she could use them more than I could. =)


I have been super busy with catching up on tests and taking midterms. I'm pretty sure I didn't do well on any of them, but can you blame me?? Usually I'd be upset about it, but I am going to just go ahead and excuse myself on these. So, really I haven't had time to process everything I am going through on the inside right now. However, for some reason, my soccer hottie knows how to get it out of me. 


I don't have class on Fridays since I was going home every weekend. So when soccer hottie called me to go to dinner on Thursday night I kindly obliged. While I was waiting on her I cleaned up the mess that I called my house since I couldn't do it during the test week. When she finally won her battle with traffic and got to my house, we still hadn't decided where to eat. I suggested that we go to Addison and then I remembered that one of my favorite places is there...Cantina Laredo. I used to go there in Shreveport all the time. They make some of the best...and strongest margaritas.


I'm glad we went there because it was ladies night. We got $3.00 margaritas and they were strong! I coughed after I took my first sip. Soccer hottie didn't like hers on the rocks so after I drank the two that I had, I drank hers. She was getting tired because apparently that is what tequila does to her...?? I wasn't really ready to end the night at 7 something so went to the bar Sherlocks. She got her a red bull vodka to liven her up and I got me a beer and we started to mingle.


Now, I have never been to Sherlock's on a weekday so I really didn't know what to expect. While we were walking around a heard a lady on the intercom yell out BINGO numbers. Bingo?? They were playing bingo in the bar?? How can I get in on this??!! I went up to a random guy and asked him how I could play. He handed me one of his cards and soccer hottie and I excitedly sat down to play. When we got to our own table we found that they just set these cards on there for anyone to play. Perfect! I don't have to pay to play bingo? SCORE!!!


Were drinking and playing bingo and the lady yells out B9. Soccer hottie jumps out of her chair yelling "Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!" I have never seen someone so excited in my entire life. I mean...she didn't even know what we were playing for! Turns out you get $20 bucks so I feel like that is pretty damn good for something we never payed for to begin with. When she got back from winning her prize she wanted to have serious conversation for some reason. We talked about getting back in to the playing field. That's when I realized how long I haven't played the game because I was so busy with family. Then I realized I was missing a huge part of my family! My friend Knuckles explained it the best. You and your mom are like the Oreo cookies and George was the cream that kept y'all together. She was completely right.

My eyes welled up with tears and soccer hottie says, "don't cry." Too late...water was dripping out of my eyeballs in the middle of the bar. How am I supposed to meet a guy when I am crying in a bar? Good thing her and I talked about getting on OkCupid. 


Ok Ok Ok...let me explain that one real fast. Her and I have only been in relationships with people we have known from school...for the most part. So we have no freaking clue how to meet guys. One of my other friends is signed up on that site and goes on dates all the time. She isn't looking for anything serious so it is just fun for her to meet new people and date.  One of soccer hottie's friends also suggested this site to her...so there...maybe when I grab some balls...I will sign up on this online dating site and just date. Not look for a relationship, but just date and have fun. 


So anyway, I find out one of my classmates who also just got out of a relationship was there. He is actually pretty funny so I think we are going to have to add him into our singles group. My soccer hottie has decided that she is going to show us how it's done and we should follow her lead. Which...if any of you knew her...is kind of scary...and I mean that in the BEST possible way!

We ended the night with me driving home and soccer hottie staying the night. She had to be at work in the morning and thankfully we wear the same size clothes. I can already tell that we are gonna have some fun adventures in the future like we did back in college. We are going out tonight with a couple of our college friends. It won't be the official Independence Party...but I sure am gonna party like it is! You know what they say, "the road goes on forever, but the party never ends."

At least she didn't have to do the walk of shame!

Gracing Us With Your Presence

Wednesday I was complaining about how I was tired of people lending out THEIR opinions in comments on MY blog posts. Seriously, if you are so infatuated on seeing your opinions on a screen go write your own blog you know? People comment on here and have not half a clue on what is really going on. My main stories are comprised of several blogs depending on how much detail I want to give. You may be offended by what you read on here, but that really isn't my problem. You CHOOSE to be offended and choose to keep reading. I leave out people's names, and yet someone always tries to violate someone else's or their own privacy by stating names. Well, that was Wednesday.


I want to make an exception for one person. This blog is dedicated to her.


All my comments come to my email and when I saw her name, I was thinking...Oh Lord, did I offend her in someway...Gosh, I don't ever remember speaking ill of her. That is because there are no ill words to say. We have a history and no, we have never liked each other enough to be friends, but there are definitely no hard feelings between the two of us. In fact, and I hope you don't mind me saying this...she had nothing but kind words to say to me when she heard about the break up. Was even encouraging. Yes, readers I am talking about my douche bag exe's ex.


When I read the latest comment posted on the Yours Truly post, I must admit that I laughed super hard. I really didn't know where this was all coming from, but maybe she heard the same rumors as I have. I have been told that our favorite strumpet is STILL reading my blogs...because she has a notion in her head that I am "stalking" her. Is everyone ready for the vocabulary word of the day??


Stalking:

1. the act or an instance of stalking,  or harassing another in an aggressive, often threatening and illegal manner
2. of or pertaining to the act of pursuing or harassing

I am in no way, shape, form, or fashion stalking anyone. I don't have time for it. I barely have time to blog and my readers have been getting antsy for new posts. {In fact...I didn't know where ya'll lived until now, and I didn't ask for the information; I don't know what you do, and I don't care. I couldn't even tell you what color hair you have sweetheart.} So before anyone goes on accusing me of anything, learn the definition! Chica is the one that got MY number from someone else and harassed me via text messages with information of her and her man's plots and escapades. So now that we have established a definition, who is really being stalked?  

I'm pretty sure coming on MY blog and commenting what you THINK are hurtful things is harassing me.

Not only am I apparently "stalking" someone that I DO NOT know, see, or ever have a desire to see, but allegedly we are communicating. For the record, I do not communicate with this person. The only communication we had was via my blog when I had to correct her on some false information of me failing a class that I was NEVER in danger of failing. Oh and obviously text messages from the night I kicked that dick out of my house in which I posted on my blog. All documented. No communication. She always comes and violates my territory. Other than that, my lovely friends and readers were the ones responding to her foolhardy responses. 

Who is the crazy here?? Making up conversations we have never had. God bless. You are delusional. But these are just rumors for now I guess. 


I have a pretty honest personality. And sometimes I am a sarcastic bitch. A lot of people don't appreciate the truth. The ones that can and reciprocate, I call my friends. You would think I would have no friends, but as much as I talk about people that don't like me or have betrayed me, I have found throughout my tragedies that I have more friends than enemies. And when some one has the cojones to call someone out...I like it. 

So to the brave soul that spoke on her own behalf, here is my response to you:

Dear Ashley,

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I was super ecstatic to read your reply! I really am sorry to hear that that prick is not paying his child support. When we got together he told me that his children always came first. I would hear him with the boys when we were on the phone. He seemed to be a great father. I admired that about him. When he moved here, I made sure that I would not be a hinderance in your children's care. 

Everyone thinks that I am stupid to have been paying for crap in our place and so forth, but I figured that these were bills that I would have to pay on my own had he not been there. To set the story straight, I made sure to save us money so he could pay child support and/or send gifts for birthdays and such. I was on your side. I even suggested that he Skype with the kids so that they would be able to see each other. He painted a picture of you that wasn't very pretty as most pathetic men would, but we had a rule of not being able to talk about you in the house unless it was about the kids. 

When I found out that he owed two arms and a leg, I was furious. However, I did everything in my power to help him figure out a way to pay it...and I had a good plan. Little did I know that he had plans of his own and none of them were concerned with taking care of his kids. There was a web of lies told as you already know. When I overheard him talking to ol' girl one day in MY bed, giggling, and talking about how he was going to pay her bills, I was enraged...not just for myself, but for you! Why the hell did he owe so much in child support when he wasn't paying a damn thing here??!! And he has the nerve to tell someone else he is going to pay their bills??

That being said, I have never heard of such maniacal people in my life. I don't know why anyone would think that A.) this blog is about them or B.) That Amond can keep his dick in his pants...especially after reading my posts! Obviously some people are filled with false illusions and narcissism.

I know why you didn't reach out to me and tell me about his sorry ass while we were together, but I agree that I had to learn the lesson on my own. I am glad you are entertained by the insanity I call my life. Hell, I can only laugh at this point. It's nice to hear about someone else's drama for a change right? I think it is fantastic that you have come so far in your life despite being involved with such a dick. I believe he does nothing but motivate the women he is with to do much better than him...well, unless they're an idiot trollop. I wish you nothing but the best in your endeavors and thank you kindly for the laugh. I needed that after the past couple of weeks I've had!

Thanks for gracing us with your presence,